Dream World
by AppleJenkins
Summary: Catching and killing Red John Lisbon wrecks her car. Due to injuries and brain damage she falls into a coma. When she "wakes up" inside the coma she finds that she's engaged to Patrick Jane, and they are living together. But that's not all that's different. Will Lisbon decide she likes the coma or reality better? What does she have to do to wake up? T to begin M in later chapters!
1. Chapter 1

** Dream World Chapter One**

**A/N: I hope this isn't too crazy 0_0 I just got the idea stuck in my head and had to write it out. If you don't like it I will _understand_! I'm not even sure I do...but I like that it came together so easily for me. Maybe too easily lol. Anyway, it is finished and I'll post it all over the next few days. Probably two chapters a day or something. I hope to get some reviews hint hint hint ;)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any character from the show, or the show itself. **

Adrenaline rushed through Teresa Lisbon's veins and she skirted her SUV around the sharp corner. Her siren was screaming, red light attached to her hood blinking against the black night. She didn't want to lose sight of the plates in front of her. The driver made bad turn after bad turn, almost wrecking each time. She could hear the static of her CB cutting in and out. There was a lot of chatter out there between officers tonight, including her own team.

"Boss..." she heard cut in, it was Rigsby. "We just got word that the helicopter has left. It's tapping the GPS on your car and it should be over you soon. ETA 3 minutes for them and us. Hang in there. Over."

She didn't bother returning the transmission. She couldn't spare a hand as she squealed around another corner. She almost lost sight of his bumper and panicked, pushing her foot down harder on the gas pedal. She kept her brain focused on what she was doing, but part of her kept flashing back to the desperate look on Jane's face right before she'd darted to her car and turned over the ignition. When she'd barked at them to stop standing around and get a helicopter in the air, get in their cars and follow her, she'd expected that she wouldn't be able to catch his car. She had, though, and she could read the license plate in the glow of her headlights as she swerved around another corner. Deeper, there was another part of her brain screaming at her for being so stupid. This wasn't even really her fight. Not like it was with him. She was just so very tired of this.

Finally, they'd caught Red John. Maybe not caught him quite yet...but she was going to. She was going to end this now. A little trickle of fear danced along her spine as she realized she was prepared to die tonight if that's what it meant to take this man down. She was done with the chase, done with the game. She could go her whole life without ever seeing another demented red smiley face.

She slammed on the brakes and spun around a corner. Her car skidded on a wet patch of dead leaves and she lost any power she had over the vehicle. The wheel jerked out of her hands, and she gasp in pain as she felt something in her wrist crack. _Shit. _The momentary lapse in concentration caused the wheel to spin the tires further out of control. She could see the car in front of her pulling away. She closed her eyes and sent out a quick prayer. She regretted not returning her brother's call this morning like she had planned now. She regretted the look on Jane's face as she'd slammed her door shut and tore out of the victim's driveway.

The nose of her SUV caught a tree and flipped her over. The mental frame crumbled with a whine, and the glass in her windshield splintered. She felt the impact in her body immediately and gritted her teeth in preparation. It was either death or a severe amount of pain, and she wanted to be as ready as possible. Her wrist was already thumping with jolts of pain. She suspected it was most likely broken, and in more than one place. Time seemed to slow down, she watched the cracks in her windshield wind along the length of her car like overgrown vines. When her car stopped skidding she could see familiar headlights cut around the corner. It took her a second to process that they were aimed right at her busted car. Her body ached all over, her wrist was on fire.

"Aw crap."

The car's lights hit the orange markers on the road where several work sign were staked into the ground: Road Out Ahead. _Ah_, she thought, that's why he was turning around. He didn't want to die by driving off a cliff. His tire hit a branch and she watched him overcompensate. He threw his car to the side. She watched as it spun in circles, and braced herself for death. She felt stupid, going after him without back up, but after seeing the look on Jane's face she couldn't let him get by again. It entered her mind that almost all of her thoughts were on Jane. She had prepared herself to die alone, she just hadn't planned on it happening so soon, but she fought it now. It was more than likely she would die here tonight, and she needed to concentrate on keeping herself awake until he got there. She had to make sure he understood that it wasn't his fault. There wasn't anything more she could do about it. She pushed this away, no reason to be thinking about any of it now.

The metal of his car finally kissed her's (finally because she felt like she'd been waiting for an hour) and than rammed full force into it, and she could hear the whine and crack as it mangled her frame, shattered what was left of her windshield. The glass flew back at her, and she could feel a few pieces hit her face hard. It stung, and she cried out. She attempted to shield herself but her slow responding arms were becoming numb from hanging upside down, and she couldn't budge the arm with the broken wrist. She felt a last feeling breeze come across her scrapped brow and sighed. At least there was one advantage to having all the glass busted out of her car.

Her entire body burned, her face stung, and her wrist ached bad enough to pull a couple tears out of her eyes. She could feel a bad cut above her brow and watched as a few drops of blood began to fall and pool on the roof of her car. So this was death, and a small guilty part of her hoped that she'd taken him out with her. It went against everything that she had been harping into Jane's head for ten years, but she didn't care. If she wasn't going to live through this, she would be damned if he would either. Nobody else would die at the hands of Red John. There had been enough of that.

She could feel her body jolting and rocking against her seat belt as the cars finished their slide and she let out a sharp scream despite herself. The pain was immense, and escalating, and she could feel herself passing out. In the distance a gentle whump-whump sounded form the approaching police helicopter. When their cars came to a halt she took in ragged breaths. Her entire body ached, and still she was bound to the seat, hanging upside down. She watched as headlights approached, light flickering through her busted back window. She begged her eyes to stay open until her team could find them. She had to see Jane one last time, make sure that he was going to be alright now.

She kept herself busy with thinking. Why had she pursued Red John alone? Not only that, it was on a road she didn't know. One that wound like an aggravated snake belly, most of the moonlight blocked out by shading trees that criss-crossed over the sides of the road. He was either dead, escaped, or passed out. He wasn't screaming, eerily silent instead, and she couldn't stop as another ripped through her throat. Every time she thought she had it under control, she would doze off and rock her body. The pain would force the scream out of her lips before she could contain it.

She heard the screech of brakes behind her and braced herself. She would _not_ scream anymore. She could hear feet pounding toward the wreckage as the blinding lights of the helicopter finally arrived on the scene.

"Teresa!" She was surprised at the desperation in Jane's voice more so than him calling her Teresa. "Somebody get the _fucking_ medic!"

She felt herself starting to doze and braced herself. Before she felt herself going under she caught sight of Jane's grief stricken face coming into view. His curls were disheveled, and his eyes were wide and red rimmed. She won out and kept her eyes open.

"Oh God, Lisbon." He whispered.

She clenched her teeth as another wave of pain crashed into her body. Her already ragged breathing came out in rough patches. She felt like she couldn't breath. "Pain." She groaned. "Please," she begged, tears coming to her eyes. She had the wherewithal to be a little embarrassed. "Pain."

He reached through her broken window and tentatively touched her face. "Shh, it's going to be fine." His voice broke. "Everything is fine."

"Dead." She heard Cho say.

"Sorry." She mumbled, feeling the black curtain coming down. She concentrated on the feel of his fingers softly stroking her brow, cheek, and nose.

"No!"

_She could feel herself falling in and out of consciousness as the rescue team cut her out of the twisted metal. She slipped in and out as they cut her seat belt and carefully pulled her from her car. The same time they tugged her free she caught sight of Red John being swaddled in a body bag. His face unrecognizable, and his left arm missing. She felt sick seeing it, and tried to roll over to throw up. She immediately regretted it and screamed as hard as she could. She just wanted to release some of the pressure in her body._

_ "Oh God," she heard Jane whisper as he grabbed her hand tightly. "Teresa, it's going to be okay. Please! You have to do something! If something happens to her..."_

_ She could feel herself slipping back out and fought it to hear his next sentence. She could feel herself being tugged up into the ambulance, Jane's hand never leaving hers. _

_ "Family only, buddy." One of the technicians told him, but softly._

_ "I am family," he pleaded. "I am. Please, I can't leave her."_

_ She heard him sigh heavily as he closed the doors. "Alright, but only until we get to the hospital. You need to keep out of the way and let us work on her."_

_ She felt sadness as she fought to stay alert. Her eyes wouldn't open and she felt so very, very, tired. She opened her mouth, could feel her lips and tongue tremble. Her mouth was dry, and her throat hurt like hell."Jane."_

_ "I'm here." She could hear the roughness in her own voice, the desperation in his. "Please tell me, please, that she's going to be fine. It's only a bang and a bump right?"_

_ She could feel the pause hanging in the air. _No, _she thought, _I'm not fine Jane.

_"Sir, I don't know. Honestly, I cannot do all of the testing here, I can only give you what I know. She has a bad head injury, one that could result in serious and permanent brain damage. She has a broken wrist, I would guess in more than one place, and a dislocated shoulder from the seat belt and the force of the impact. I can see a couple bruises around her ribs, so maybe a bruised or broken rib or two, and possibly a collapsed or punctured lung. I would guess she might have a broken leg from the impact of the other car. A piece of good news, her neck is not broken, but there is some bruising from the seat belt. I don't know if there is internal bleeding. I don't know what the extent of the brain damage will be. I can't tell you if she will ever get up and leave that hospital."_

_ A couple tears slid down her cheek now, and it became harder to fight herself awake. She could hear Jane's breathing hitch as he placed a kiss to her forehead. She felt his hot breath on her ear as he whispered to her. She ignored the pain, the stick of the IV needle, the prodding fingers of the EMT. "I meant what I said that night in your office. I love you. Pull out of this and give me a chance to prove it."_

_ "Promise." She mumbled, feeling the rest of his resolve break. It was a promise to herself, to make him repeat that to her when she came out of this, and a promise from her that she would fight her hardest to do so. Finally she lost her battle and slipped into what she hoped wouldn't be death. She had a promise to keep, now. _


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: This is the beginning of the "dream world" :) I hope it reads better to all of you than it did to me. Thanks to everyone reading on past the first chapter! I think it will be about five chapters and an epilouge of some sort.**

Lisbon groaned and rolled over. She was relieved to not feel a dozen tubes and wires take the turn with her. The pain was there, in her body, but it seemed to be buried under a cloud of pain killers. Her head felt dreamy, and she guessed they were probably something potent. A small shock ran down her spine as warm lips pressed to her cheek, her neck, her bare shoulder.

"C'mon, babe. We have to get up. We have to get to work." More kisses peppered her bare skin.

She shook her head slowly and swallowed hard to wet her sore throat. "I'm not going to work, I just had an accident, Jane. Also, keep your lips to yourself."

She felt the bed shift behind her as he rolled his weight into her body. "What's with calling me Jane? Since when do you ever care if my lips are not kept to myself? What accident, you mean the mugging?"

Slowly she opened her eyes and rolled gingerly onto her back. The pain was not nearly as immense as she had expected, but it was there. She only felt like she'd been in a bad fistfight instead of a car accident. Jane was next to her, bare chested and leaning on his elbow. His free hand drew up and traced her jaw line, brushing hair out of her face. The touch felt feather light and hesitant.

"I always call you Jane."

He furrowed his brow, and the corners of his mouth turned down slightly. "Not for quite some time babe." He objected. His fingers moved from her jaw and slowly lined the curve of her neck. It was then that she realized she was not in a hospital bed at all, but in a bedroom she didn't recognize.

"What's going on Ja – Patrick?"

He shook his head, silently saying _what do you mean?_, moving his fingers lower to trace her collar bone, and the bit of shoulder that stuck out under her fallen t-shirt. Surprisingly she felt a stirring in her lower stomach and leaned into his touch. "It's already six. If we're going to be late, let's make it worth it." He winked at her, and she couldn't help but smile a little before knocking his hand away. It was inappropriate...but adorable.

"Seriously, I'm not going in today. I don't feel like dealing with murderers."

She watched the confusion on his face turn to shock. "What kind of a joke is that?" This time he rolled away from her, and she let herself appreciate the way his bare back met the line of his sleep pants. He grabbed a plain t-shirt off the ground and tugged it on over his head. "It's not even kind of funny. You know those kids are not murderers. Most of them have ended up there because they were born into bad situations. What's wrong with you this morning?"

She sat up slowly and sighed in relief when she didn't scream. She still felt dreamy and surreal, but she wasn't in a great deal of pain. Just sore. "I'm so sore."

She watched his face flush. "Sorry. I didn't think things were that rough last night. You know how I get...so wrapped up in you I forget where we are. You have to say something if it's too much."

Now it was her turn to be confused. "Oh, this is too much alright." She whipped the covers back and stared down at bare legs. Not only was it not her t-shirt that hung from one shoulder, but she wasn't wearing much else. Only a pair of panties. "Are we sleeping together?"

He nodded slowly (as if to say _DUH_) and threw a pair of leggings at her. "_Yes_. Are you feeling okay Reese?" His eyes dripped with concern as he sat down next to her. He ran a hand through his blonde curls and waited on her to answer him. His body was so close she could feel the heat and energy crackle between them.

She finished pulling the leggins on and sighed, trying to push away thoughts she felt were improper. "Just explain to me where I am, what's going on between us, and why you don't seem to care that I almost died in a car accident, _if_ we are sleeping together I want to know for how long. Obviously I did suffer some brain damage."

"Absurd." He mumbled. His eyes were deep in thought, and for the first time he looked like the consultant she knew, and not the stranger she woke up half naked with. "Let's start slowly, yes? We have been _sleeping together, _for about three years. We have been together for a little longer than that, and we have been engaged for about seven months. You moved in with me a year and a half ago. We met at the youth detention center through friends of ours who also work there. You didn't almost die in a car accident, you were never in one. But...but about two months ago you were coming home from work and you were mugged and beaten badly. They were worried about brain damage, but up until now you haven't acted...abnormally. I am concerned about you, I just thought maybe...maybe you were trying to pull one over on me. Trying to con me."

"Funny you should say that." She mumbled, feeling his hand brush hair away from her forehead. He leaned in and placed a gentle kiss there, holding his lips against her hot skin for awhile. "What do you mean we work at the youth detention center?"

"You're a counselor for girls aged eleven to thirteen, and I'm a psychologist for the boys wing aged fourteen to seventeen." He reached behind himself and handed her a picture frame. Inside was a picture of him smiling, hand on the shoulder of a tall boy next to him. The boy was thin and wore his hair shortly cropped. Jane had a broad smile on his face. Then she recognized the tall thin boy. It was her youngest brother, Tommy. "This was taken a while ago, but it's one of your favorites. You like to say that no matter the circumstances, we would have wound up on a path that would have led us to each other, and this reminds you of that." He returned the picture to the nightstand and handed her another.

This time it was a picture of her and Grace, both of them sitting at a conference table. They wore sunny yellow "Sacramento Youth Detention Center" polo shirts. They had their cheeks pressed together, and they were smiling. She couldn't deny she looked very happy. "This is Grace, your best friend. She's dating my best friend. It's how we met."

"You have a best friend? I thought that was me." She couldn't deny the hurt that showed through, those she had tried to contain it.

"You _are_ my best friend, but you're also my fiance" (as if to prove so he raised her left hand and placed a gentle kiss on a rather large rock) "so it doesn't really count." He placed the picture back on the nightstand and brought his hand back up to her cheek. "My best friend is Cho. We went to college together, he teaches a high school psychology course at Uptown Academy. He used to work with us. The only reason he left was to make better money when they found out that Grace was pregnant."

Lisbon sat back and took in a couple deep breaths. "Let me get this straight. When my eyes close, I am in immense pain. I have been in a serious car accident chasing down the serial killer that murdered your wife and child. We are nothing more than friends, though really close ones, Grace and Cho hardly speak, let alone date, and I'm an agent at the CBI. You are a consultant who hates psychologists. When I wake up, we're not only living together - we're getting married. I haven't been in a car accident at all, I've been mugged and beaten. Grace and Cho are having a baby, and where is Rigsby?"

"Who? _Oh_. You mean Dr. Rigsby, your trauma doctor."

She felt herself getting frustrated and buried her face in her hands to groan loudly. "I'm not going into work today." She rolled away from him and covered herself up from head to toe with the thick quilt. After a long moment of silence she felt his hand cautiously begin rubbing her back through the blanket.

"I was never married before Reese. You know that. I had a one night stand and got a girl pregnant in college. She and my child were killed in a car accident when my daughter was young. Now I know that something is going on with you. You never would have brought that up unless you didn't...I think we should call out today and go see your doctor." His voice quivered a little and she felt sick to her stomach. She didn't bother coming out from under the covers as she listened to him walk down the hallway talking to their boss, whoever it was. She felt confused, so very confused, and also a little scared. She was either dreaming, dead, or crazy. None of those were the option that she wanted.

* * *

Lisbon sat next to Jane, he was oddly dressed in jeans and a light blue button down shirt, but looking nice in it. She had to admit it was nice seeing him so differently presented. Part of her, a larger part than she wanted to admit, wanted this to be real so she could find out how it felt to slide that shirt off his shoulders. Something in her caught that thought and killed it with a shake of her head. She had pulled on a pair of jeans and a regular t-shirt. It felt good to be back in regular clothes, but the fabric felt muffled against her skin. Almost as if her entire body had fallen asleep from sitting too long. She wore a zip up hoodie over the top of it, fiddling with the zipper while they waited. Jane read an old _Psychology and You_ magazine, and seemed lost in his own world. Occasionally he would glance her direction and pat her on the thigh. A couple times he hand lazily brought his fingers up and down the denim fabric there. Upon seeing the look from the receptionist, Lisbon had pushed his hand away, an embarrassed pink tinting her cheeks.

"Teresa Lisbon," the nurse called, holding the door open for them. She felt herself jerk away a little as Jane tried to intertwine his hand with hers. It was most likely an old habit for him, but for her it felt very foreign. The Jane she knew was unwilling for human touch, but in the most dire of circumstances. _Like just before pretending to shoot you in the heart_. The nurse led them into a small room with a couple of chairs and a desk. There wasn't much else, save a couple of posters about the brain and a few framed degrees. She caught sight of a picture on the desk and picked it up to look at it. In the picture was Wayne, Sarah, and their son. He looked just as he did the last time she'd seen him. She sighed and set the picture down. Yep, dreaming, dead or crazy. That's all there was to it.

After a couple awkward minutes the door opened and Rigsby strolled in, sitting down behind his desk. He wasn't wearing anything different than what she was used to seeing him in and it made her feel more comfortable. In some strange way she had expected him to come in looking like a stranger. Seeing the same old Rigsby made her feel more at ease.

"Good morning Mr. Jane, Miss Lisbon." _Boss, _she corrected in her head, _you're supposed to call me boss. _He opened her file and flipped through a couple pages before closing it. She had seen him do this several times before, only it was suspect files in an interrogation room. "It seems Mr. Jane contacted us with some concerns this morning. After your...accident a couple months ago we had been watching for signs of permanent brain damage. However, you've seemed fine. In my professional opinion, I don't think that's what this is. I think it would have presented itself sooner. However, I believe it may be shock. I would like to send you to a psychiatrist tomorrow afternoon. After you meet with him or her we can have another meeting. I want to get a feel for what this is before I make any diagnosis myself and we look toward treatment. Until then I'm writing you a note to excuse you from work. I would suggest a week off for both of you. I don't want her alone until we get this figured out."

Jane nodded his head and stole a glance at his fiance. It was then that he noticed she had taken off her engagement ring. "What are the chances that her memory loss, the creation of these other...memories...will be a permanent thing?"

Rigsby frowned and shook his head. "I can't say just yet, Mr. Jane. If it's not brain damage, and I don't think it is, then it is most likely psychological. In that case, I don't know. It could last a couple weeks, a couple months, but yes...it could be permanent. In that event we will see what course is best, but for now let's take it as it falls. She needs rest, support, and understanding."

Jane nodded, and Teresa watched his hand twitch as he felt the need to reach for her hand. She felt guilty, but not enough to reach out and take his. She would not assist in her brain poisoning her heart.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: There is some self harm in this chapter. If that sort of thing bothers you I would suggest skipping over this chapter. Other than that a great thanks for all of those who are reading this :) I am so happy to have six reviews! Thank you to everyone who reviewed after reading! I hope this chapter lives up to the others. **

Jane stood with his back to Lisbon, buttoning his vest over his button down. She could see the tension in his shoulders, hear the anger in his breath. She wasn't sure if he was mad at her, or just mad at the situation. Part of her wanted to be mad, too. How dare her brain do this to her heart? She wanted this, though for a long time she had told herself no. She knew she couldn't have this. It felt so right every time he forgot what she was going through and touched her out of habit. His hand warm at the small of her back, brushing her hair from her face, caressing her cheek.

The only downside was the almost argument they had when they left the doctor's office. He was upset that her ring was at home, _his home, _in a bedside drawer. She was upset that he didn't seem to understand in her head they weren't married. That she was his boss and any sort of relationship like this was inappropriate to the nth degree. She tried to explain things further form her point of view, but felt overwhelmed, and despite herself, broke down in tears. It had stopped the argument, but she could still see the disappointment in his eyes every time he caught sight of her empty left hand.

She was disappointed, too. She just didn't want to set herself up for heartache. When this ended...whatever it was, she wanted to be prepared. "Jane...Patrick, I mean. I _am_ sorry."

He turned around slowly as he smoothed the vest down over his shirt. He took his time rolling his sleeves up to his elbows before he said anything. Finally he opened his mouth but it took a couple seconds before anything came out. "I am, too. I cannot even image what this must feel like for you. But I know what it feels like for me, and out of the many things that I am today, mad is only one of them." Slowly he crossed the room and sat next to her on the bed. She had changed back into her pajamas, or someone's pajamas anyway. Some of the pain had come back, and she was waiting for it to wean off. He raised a hesitant hand and ran the back of it along her jaw line. He flicked some bangs out of her face and smiled weakly. "I just don't want to lose you."

She let him pull her into an embrace and took in his scent. It was everything she had remembered, and it felt wonderful to have some sort of normalcy. She felt his hand run up and down her back, felt him place a kiss to her hair. "I have to go into work for about an hour so that I can make sure I'm covered to take a week off with you. I called Grace to sit with you, okay?"

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "I'm an adult. I can take care of myself...even if I am crazy."

She felt his chest vibrate with his small chuckle. "Honey, _you're_ not crazy...the situation is." He placed another kiss to the top of her head and pulled her away from his chest. She felt sad knowing that she was going to miss that feeling. As soon as he left she was going to figure this _crazy situation _out. "I'll be back in an hour. I would say make yourself at home but..." He trailed off, taking her face into his hands. "I will see you when I get home, we'll have dinner, and we'll talk about this some more. _I love you_." He placed a gentle hesitant kiss to her lips, and she melted into him.

If she was dreaming, why not live it up? If she was crazy, he obviously didn't care. If she were dead, than what a hell of a way to spend purgatory, right? She pressed her body further into his and deepened the kiss by running her tongue along his bottom lip. He eagerly accepted, moving his mouth with hers. She felt his hands tangle into her hair as his moan rumbled against her tongue. She closed off all doubts in her brain and moved her hands up to his chest to begin unbuttoning his vest. She wanted skin on skin contact. If she had that maybe she could convince herself that this wasn't a bad idea. That it _was_ her crazy brain trying to sabotage her sanity and happiness.

Suddenly the air felt colder. Jane pulled briskly away and apologized. "I can't do this right now. I'll be home soon."

Lisbontook a moment to calm herself down before opening her eyes. When she did, the room was empty. She felt like such a girl, and somewhere inside it angered her. Everything felt complicated and awkward, like she had literally woken up into a dream.

* * *

After Jane had left she felt exhausted. The pain had started to fade, but the foggy dreaminess had returned. When she woke up it had only been half an hour. She moved carefully, her body was achy and she didn't want to push it. She felt stuck between two worlds, stuck in the barrier between hell and happiness. She made her way out of the bedroom and toward the living room. She had a plan, and she needed to put it into action.

She made her way into the kitchen from the living room and scoffed. Of course there was a tea kettle on the back burner. She opened drawer after drawer until she found the knives. There was only one way to find out of she were dead, dreaming, or crazy. She set her arm steadily on the counter and pressed the knife against her arm. She braced herself, biting her lip as she pressed down a little harder and brought it back slowly. She felt pain, but it was just as muffled as the rest of it. She watched the blood draw up in the wound, outlining a white line in red ink. A drop of the blood rolled off her arm and landed on the edge of her shirt. It soaked in but didn't spread. She dropped the knife in the sink and sighed. She wasn't dead, that was for sure. Plus, she was pretty sure that if she were dead _everything_ wouldn't hurt quite as bad as it did.

She also wasn't crazy, because if she were the blood would have not only stained her shirt but spread out. She had cut herself picking up a broken beer bottle as a teenager. Her hand had bleed, and a drop had hit her shirt just like this one. Only it didn't just soak in, it soaked and spread. Because that's what blood does when it hits fabric. Unless you're dreaming and your brain isn't quick enough to catch up.

Suddenly it made sense to her. That's why everyone she cared about played some part in Crazy Land the musical. It's why she had factored in a much less traumatizing ending to Jane's family. She had been in that car accident, she hadn't been mugged or beaten. She felt herself getting mad, the anger building up in her chest. No wonder why the pain and fogginess came and went every four hours. She was in a coma, receiving pain medication for a badly damaged body. What had her brain done? Broken her heart, that's what.

"Or maybe it's trying to help you figure it out?"

She turned quickly to see Grace standing in between the open kitchen and living room. Her stomach was swollen at seven months pregnant. "VanPelt?"

"You can just call me Grace you know. Besides if we were going by last names, technically I'd be Cho." The redhead grinned, rubbing absently at her belly.

"Pregnancy looks good on you." Teresa commented, trying to hide the cut on her arm behind her back. She did not want to have to explain it to a dream version of one of her employees.

"I'm not just an employee," Grace scoffed. "I'm a friend, too. That doesn't just count here, it counts out there, too." She waved her hand to the left, not really encompassing anything. "If you ever want to get back out there, you're going to have to get yourself figured out in here. There are a lot of people waiting to see your eyes again, you know. One espcially."

Lisbon waited a full couple of beats before saying anything. Even then it took a couple of times of opening and closing her mouth for the words to find her lips. "You're not Grace."

"Maybe not," she agreed. "I want you to feel comfortable with me. Other than Jane, and for obvious reasons as to why I couldn't choose him, Grace seemed to be the person your conscious had the easiest time trusting. Maybe it's not just your brain giving you a glimpse at what could be. Give that some thought if you like. Bottom like though, Teresa, is that if you don't get yourself straightened out here, you'll never be back out there."

Teresa nodded and felt the stinging in her arm flare up for a second. "Okay."

Grace looked down at her stomach and smiled. "I do actually miss this." With that she seemed to stare off into space for a moment before cocking her head to the side. "What's up Reese? I looked all over the apartment for you. If you're hungry I can make you something. Go on and get some rest, I'll bring you some tea."

Numbly Teresa nodded and moved roboticly toward the living room. As she settled down into the couch she listened to Grace sing a lullaby to herself, or maybe to her baby.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: When I first started writing this it was four chapters. Now I'm up to around seven or something. Every time I reread it to make corrections I wind up seeing another scene I need to add. I hope it's okay and doesn't seem stretched out or anything. I think I like it better now. Anyway...thanks for all the reviews, favorite story, and story alerts! I am so excited to be writing again! I think it will be around ten chapters, maybe. Also, I'm sorry for any confusion over this and the last chapter's updates. I copied and pasted updated versions of them and it took me a while to realize it didn't paste. I also lost my favorite part of the last chapter where Lisbon and Grace had a cute talk. I'll have to redo that in another chapter :(**

When Jane came home, half an hour later than he said, Lisbon was sitting on the couch trying to read a book. Grace greeted him at the door and thanked him for helping her into her jacket. They talked for a little while and Lisbon tried not to eavesdrop.

The conversation kept light, about baby shower cakes and the congratulations on a name. She whispered a worrisome few sentences. He answered his tone more concerned. By the time they said their goodbyes and Jane shut the door behind her, Lisbon was frustrated and practically ripping the pages as she turned them. Her engagement ring was still not on her finger. He unbuttoned his vest and removed it, tossing it on the table beside the door. He kicked off his shoes and walked toward her slowly.

She could feel him walk through the living room, feel him staring her down. His thoughts were screaming at her, he was worried, mad, scared. She was going to tell him about her odd encounter with Grace. She was going to tell him that she'd seen those eyes before when she'd snooped and found a picture of his wife in an old newspaper. _Dream Jane you're not much like Real Jane. I know I'm not really here because I had the oddest conversation with my friend in your kitchen earlier. I know you're my brain trying to make me feel comfortable while I heal, and that this might also be some other situation. Some crazy situation, but I want out. I don't want to play house with you anymore, and I'm going home. _

She sighed and ripped another page in her book. That was not the best way to go about this at all. If he didn't already think she was crazy, he would after she said all of that. This was real for him, to him he was a real person, not just an outplayed romantic comedy scenario, minus the comedy.

When his weight pressed into the couch beside her she gave up and threw the book across the room. "I'm in a coma." She barked, waiting for his face to change but it didn't. "Did you hear me?"

She watched his gaze catch her arm, and his face fell. "Did you...do that to yourself?" Gingerly he ran his fingers on either side of the wound before moving them back to his lap.

"I had to find out if it was true. I know I'm not dead, but I know this isn't real either. My brain is trying to make me feel better. I just want it to stop." She whispered the last part. It only felt half true. She was confused and tired.

"You don't want to feel better?" He question, moving to sit a little closer. "Plus I don't feel like that's true because I _feel _real. If I were just your imagination then how could I feel those butterflies in my stomach when we kissed earlier? How could I feel the spark in my fingertips when I touch your skin? How could I feel the disappointment when I see your engagement ring is still in the drawer upstairs?" He reached out and ran his fingers through her hair. She didn't jerk away from him this time, but she didn't feel entirely comfortable with it either.

She sighed and held up a hand to stop him from getting any more intimate. His hand fell from her hair and settled in his lap. "I cut my arm and watched it bleed, Patrick. The blood soaked in, it didn't spread out."

He shook his head and scratched at the back of his neck. A little scruff was growing on his jaw and chin, and she realized she liked it. He wasn't clean shaven like Real Jane. His eyes softened and he shook his head again. "Blood soaks. It's a liquid. That doesn't prove anything."

She sighed loudly and rolled her eyes. "I'm a cop. I know what blood looks like when it soaks into clothes."

"You know that because you picked up a broken beer bottle when you were thirteen. You cut your hand and it soaked into your shirt."

She smiled a little, but it didn't feel right. She was happy that she was right, but devastated at the same damn time. She almost wished she were crazy. At least then she'd get to keep this life. "Yeah, that's how I know that." They sat there for a while, neither of them moving. "If you're not just a dream than how do you know that?"

"You told me yourself. It was just after we moved in together. I told you how I got the scar on my inner right elbow teaching Charlotte how to ride a bike. You told me know you got the scar on your left palm picking up an empty beer bottle after your dad got drunk and threw it at a wall. He was mad because Tommy got caught shop lifting a pair of shoes from the store in town." He seemed lost in thought while she waited. "Do I mean anything to you in this other world of yours?"

She nodded. It felt awkward to talk to him now, knowing this was what her heart wanted and how different it was from her reality. She was achy and weary. Being with him, it also felt right, it felt comfortable. "Yeah."

"Do I love you?"

"I don't know." She answered truthfully.

His eyes flickered up to hers and she swooned. "In your world, I must be a real idiot."

She giggled, and felt embarrassed of herself. "Sometimes." She admitted. "So am I. I feel a lot for you, I really do."

"Do you tell me that?"

She shook her head. "No, I don't. It's complicated."

He nodded and looked down at the carpet. His chest ached. "All the time." He said and let out a deep sigh. "All the time you tell me here. You say I love you to me so much it sickens other people. I love you here, so I must love you there. You should try telling me sometime."

"Here or there?"

"Both," he clarified, "but only when you're ready."

"I don't think it works like that. You're assuming your the same here as you are there. You're not, you've been through different things than he has. Just because my brain is trying to keep me calm and collected so I can heal, doesn't mean Real Jane feels the same way as Dream Jane."

He smiled ruefully. "I don't like when you call me Dream Jane. I seem much better than your Real Jane so I think I deserve the title."

She shook her head. "No, no, you're prefect...I mean _he_ is. He might have his flaws, but to me he's perfect." She curled up into his chest, and sighed when he put his arm around her. "I'm not ready to leave here, though." She could feel the dreaminess of the medication kicking in. She covered her mouth to yawn and relaxed into his side.

"If he's so perfect then why doesn't he make you happy? Here, I do. Here, I love you more than anything. Here, we're perfect for each other."

She groaned at the repetition, at his desperation. "Because we're not here. We're not anymore here than we are on the moon."

She felt him tense underneath her. "For you the moon," he pressed a kiss into her hair. "Remember when I told you that, and you laughed at me for ten minutes. You called me corny and foolish." He chuckled sadly. "I would give you anything to see you look at me that way again, even the moon."

She kept her mouth closed, squeezed her eyes shut. It _was_ corny and foolish, and she had almost interrupted him to say it. The hurt in her chest was rivaling that in her wrist and leg. After a while of laying silently she felt his breathing even out. Only then did she let a couple of tears slip away. She forced herself to be silent. Anger triggered every nerve in her body. How could she sit on this couch and cry over an imaginary life?

* * *

When she woke up she realized she was in the bed. Her body felt like she'd been dipped in orajel. Everything was muted, fuzzy. She rolled over and peeked through her lashes at a sleeping Jane. His chest rose and fell slowly, one hand over his stomach, the other over his eyes to block out the morning sun. She took a few minutes to relish in the sight of his half naked body. The only thing stopping her from seeing everything was a flimsy pair of boxers and a purple cotton sheet.

She bit her lip and shook her head. No, this was not how she needed to be thinking. Today she needed to be thinking about finding her way home. Maybe she should start sleeping on the couch, or in the spare room until she did. It would certainly help the confusion. That thought tumbled through her mind on a hamster wheel rotation. Until Jane rolled over and threw his arm around her, leg over her body. She could feel his morning erection pressed firmly into her hip.

Suddenly she felt panicked. Her head screamed, _throw him off! Throw him off! _But her body was purring, _pull him closer, and closer still_. She hadn't tried anything else since he'd flat out rejected her earlier the previous day. She didn't ever want to feel that again. It wasn't the first time she had ever been turned down before, of course. But it had been the hardest.

"Mm," he moaned. "Stop thinking so hard and come a little closer to me." His grip tightened around her waist, fingers moving underneath her shirt. She could feel the pressure of them there, feel the stirring in her stomach.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Okay." He said meekly, pulling himself away from her, rolling over so that his back was against her side instead. Immediately she regretted it, but reminded herself that she could dream later. Right now she had to get home to Real Jane. She had to make sure he wasn't blaming himself. What if he was? What if he felt so guilty he caused self harm? No! She cleared that thought away. If anything there was a big chance that he would be very angry at her. Angry because she'd taken his vengeance away. The thought tore at her, and suddenly she felt like staying in bed all day after all.

"Jane?"

"Hm?"

She paused, unsure of what to say now. "I'm sorry." There. That should cover just about everything. She was sorry. Sorry for not wanting to cuddle him, for not wanting to spend the day lost in him. She was sorry to Real Jane for killing Red John. She was sorry to both Jane's that she was so screwed she couldn't say _I love you _to either one. Three simple words, and they could choke her faster than anything.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He reached behind himself and grabbed her hand in his. She felt him squeeze in reassurance. She didn't jerk away, just squeezed back and enjoyed the warmth. "Why don't we get up, get showered, and get dressed. Get this day started? There are a couple of places I want to take you."


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I'm sorry about the confusion with Chapter 3 and 4's update. If you're unsure if you read the right versions or if they seemed messed up, please try to reread them. If they still seem messed up I'm sorry. ****I hope that it was all straightened out by the time it posted and the right versions were read. I'm still sad about the missing piece between Grace and Lisbon, but it didn't fit in this chapter. Hoepfully this time everything ends up the way it's supposed to. Thank you all so much for reading, and for your reviews! 3 **

Lisbon sat across from Jane, her window down and the breeze running through her hair. She didn't ask where they were going, where her brain was taking them. It didn't matter to her. A small part of her still focused on waking up, and doing it as soon as she could. The other part of her just wanted to spend some time with her best friend. Any time with him not mad at her, because she felt that there wouldn't be many of those days when she did come out of this.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Mm," she nodded. "I feel fine. Please, stop asking me."

She heard him sigh, watched his hand move to take hers and then jerk back onto the gear shifter between them. "Okay." His face tightened and she felt a little guilty. Not enough to apologize, but enough to reach between them and take his hand in hers. She was grateful he didn't say anything about it, just gave it a squeeze and linked their fingers.

He pulled into a long gravel driveway and parked the car. She fumbled with her seat belt, felt the cool breeze brush her legs as he opened the door. She wore a simple pair of jean shorts, a nice tank top, and comfortable sandals. Jane wore a nice fitting pair of jeans and a plain light blue t-shirt. The part she liked the best, though all of it looked good, was the simple pair of white and blue running shoes. It made him looked so relaxed and at ease.

He reached behind her seat and grabbed a small teddy bear, no bigger than his hand, and a single lily. "I wanted to show you something. It's...unsettling maybe." He furrowed his brow, then sighed and gave a small smile. "I think it's important though." He placed his hand flat on her lower back guiding her down the gravel pathway.

They weaved through tombstones. She felt a chill in her spine as they made their way closer. She didn't want to do this, but she could see by the firm set in his back and shoulders that it was important to him. He stopped and let go of her, giving her the option of following him. She did, and came to stand in front of two black marble slabs.

_Angela Ruskin, beloved mother and daughter, taken too soon. _

_ Charlotte Jane, beloved daughter, our little angel._

Lisbon watched Jane place the flower and bear on Charlotte's stone. He lingered for a moment before he stood. There was a sadness to his smile as he turned to look at her. "I'm not sure exactly why I felt the need to bring you here. I just did. When I woke up this morning, I, I forgot everything for a moment. So maybe the best thing we can do is start over. I'm guessing you don't really remember, but around our fifth date I brought you here.

I explained everything to you. How they had been killed by some teenager. How he used to send me a blank card every year on Charlotte's birthday. Despite myself I even cried. I felt like an idiot, I was so embarrassed. But you didn't say anything, you just grabbed me by the waist and held on tight. I'm pretty sure I ruined a very cute tank top."

Now she could see the tears brimming in his eyes, despite his last ditch effort at humor. She wasn't sure where to place the blame for those tears, but she considered some of it might lie with her. Without hesitation she reached over and took his hand, running her thumb across his knuckles. "I'm glad you brought me."

"I just can't lose you, okay? If starting over is what it takes than I'll do it." He wiped quickly at his eyes. "Even the moon remember?" He placed a gentle kiss to her lips. "I'm sure you're ready to get going."

She nodded, then caught someone out of the corner of her eye. She didn't want to alarm him, but she was pretty sure she knew who it was. She grabbed his hand quickly, jerking him into a tight hug. She was surprised at how desperately he clung to her, how hard his grip felt. A little guilt tripped through her at the selfishness of the act on her part, even if it did feel good to be this close to him. She had just wanted to look at this woman and see those hazel eyes. She had so many questions. She watched the woman over his shoulder, standing in front of a few graves, not really appearing to be interested in any of them. "Why don't you go ahead to the car? I'm going to take a second to calm my nerves and I'll be up."

He nodded and reluctantly let her go. "Try not to take to long, okay?" He grabbed her face in his hands and pressed a small kiss to her forehead. He let his lips linger before pulling away. He was too afraid to risk getting rejected by trying to kiss her on the lips twice in a row. "I'll wait for you."

She waited until he made it around the bend to approach the woman. She was older, maybe in her early fifties. She wore her salt and pepper hair closely cropped in a sleek bob. When she caught sight of Lisbon approaching she met her with hazel eyes and a warm smile. "Hello, Teresa."

"Hello, you." She nodded, moving to stand beside her. "How are you?"

"I've been better, but today I don't feel too bad." She tapped at a faint scar along her throat and winced. "The burn isn't too bad today. How are you?"

Lisbon nodded, feeling the ache in her leg and wrist. She felt like someone had them in a vice grip. "Not too bad. Are you ever going to explain to me what's going on? Maybe with a little more detail, or an instructional power point?"

The woman gave her a genuine smile. "Your humor is such a match for Patrick's. Right now you have to be going, though. Complicated questions lead to complicated answers, and you don't have time for them. Thinking them counts as the same around me, I'm afraid." She paused, watching Lisbon's face for something, then shrugged and continued. "You've spent too much time around him, your Real Jane as you like to call him. But _he's_ waiting on you. I know from experience that he gets impatient easily. Then he gets into trouble. I'll see you later on. Have a good time." She didn't give Lisbon a chance to argue or ask any further, just turned and began to walk away.

For a moment her movements were jerky, then more deliberate and smooth than they had been. Teresa reached out and grabbed her elbow gently. "Please, wait. I need your help with this." She felt the woman tense under her grip.

"What are you doing?" The woman asked, voice getting high as she turned. Something must have looked off on Lisbon's face, not to mention the strange question, because she began to breath heavily, frightened. "Let go of me!" The woman squealed, terrified blue eyes looked back at her as she jerked out of Lisbon's grasp and tore off down the graveyard. It was then that Lisbon noticed the scar was not just faint, but invisible. She had just scared some woman trying to visit a deceased relative. Great. One more point for crazy.

* * *

When Jane pulled into the park Lisbon was asleep in the passenger seat. He woke her gently, explaining they were stopped. She could hear muffled music and see a large crowd of people in front of the car. "Where are we?"

He smiled, holding her close, arm around her waist as he pulled her through the crowd. "Our first date was here. This band just sets up in the middle of the park on the same day every year. There are not tickets, no reserved seating. They don't make a dime. They just show up and play. They cover all types of music. We come back every year and listen. They usually play your favorite every year." He weaved them through the crowd and off to the side. They were close enough to see the band playing, but on the edge of the crowd so that they had space.

He didn't remove his arm, just held her close as they listened. She shifted so that her back rested against him. It was partially because her leg was pounding in pain, but partially it was because she wanted to be close to him. She could feel his breath on her ear, her cheek, and her neck. He was humming along, sometimes singing out loud. She giggled and relaxed into him. They swayed with a couple of the songs.

The stage was a mixture of stand up house lamps and stage lighting. The group played well, and they covered several genres as promised. It wasn't as weird as it had sounded to her at first. The songs they chose flowed together seamlessly. When a familiar song began, _More Than Words_, she let Jane turn her in his arms. Of course her favorite song at home was her favorite song here. Her cheek rested so easily on his heartbeat, she kept one hand on his chest, the other on his lower back. He put his arms around her waist and held her close as they swayed. "I wish you remembered this. We dance to it every year, just like this."

"I sort of do." She admitted. "Only we danced to this once, at a high school reunion in my world."

"Not our reunion, I take it. Did we kiss?"

She shook her head. "No, it wasn't mine, and where I come from you didn't even go to high school. It was just a case we worked on. But we didn't, kiss I mean. We just danced."

He nodded, swaying slowly. "In mine world we did kiss. For the first time. It was electric." He didn't say anything else for a long time, just let the tension build up between them as they moved together. When the song died down, the band was addressing the crowd that the next one would be their last, Jane lifted Lisbon's face. Carefully he pressed a kiss to her lips. She allowed him to push his mouth a little closer to her's, tilted her head to give him better access. When he pulled away a blush heated her face. Her heart was beating against her chest, ready to explode. Even muted his touch sent her on edge.

Gingerly she leaned on her tip toes and pressed her mouth back to his. This time he reacted with a fever, trailing his tongue along her lower lip until she opened up to him. They kissed like this for a while, her hand so tightly wound in his t-shirt she thought she might tear it, his hand gripping her back and holding her so close she thought she might not ever breathe again.

"Get a room!" Someone yelled at them, laughing with a drunk slur. Someone else bumped into them. Neither of them seemed to notice. Finally, when they couldn't breath and their lungs began to seize up they broke apart. Jane was breathing a little raggedly, but Lisbon was panting. The pain in her leg and wrist made her wince as she shifted away from him, trying to smooth out the wrinkles she'd made in his shirt.

"Maybe we should go get something to eat, plus it looks like you're in pain again." He offered, sensing she didn't want to talk about the kiss. "I have everything at home to make my famous shrimp scampi."

She nodded, feeling a small pang of hunger in her stomach. She hadn't really eaten much since she'd opened her eyes a couple days ago.

* * *

The ride home had been mostly in silence. He was content with being able to touch her without her tensing or jerking away. He ran his fingertips up and down her arm, her wrist, her hand. Under one brave red light he had even ran them from her knee to her upper thigh for a couple seconds. It felt comfortable, but it also made her a little angry. She still felt like she'd been dipped in orajel, overdosed on an anesthetic. Her body was numb and his touches seemed to be coming through thick winter gloves.

She considered telling him about her encounters with the hazel eyed possessor but decided against it. When she followed him in through the door of their apartment she could feel the pain in her leg and wrist screaming. It covered everything else. She couldn't think, couldn't hardly breathe.

He had seemed concerned and offered for her to go straight to bed, but she wasn't ready to let the night go. If she went to sleep and opened her eyes she might be back in reality. For the first time since she'd come here she wasn't ready to leave. She took the pain medication he offered and felt the stabbing in her leg begin to wear off. The twisting in her wrist was almost down to a dull roar when he carried two plates out and sat down next to her. He didn't bother turning on the television, but clicked on the surround sound instead. Soft classical music played through the speakers behind them while they ate.

She felt the haze of the drugs take their full effect. She relaxed, talked with him comfortably about many subjects. She laughed with him, even flirted shamelessly. Here they were lovers, more even, and she didn't have to be conscious not to show how she felt about him. When dinner was over, and he'd cleaned the kitchen, he offered her his hand.

"Do you want to come up to the bedroom with me? If you don't I can make up the guest bedroom for you. I know you were thinking about it this morning. If sleeping with me were a good idea or not, I mean. I promise to be a gentleman if you do decide to stay with me."

She accepted his hand and allowed him to help her stand. The pain in her leg and wrist were better, but still raking through her enough to make walking hurt. "Let's go lay down, I'm beat."


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi guys! Thanks to all of you for the great reviews! I love them! I'm also sorry that it took me so long to update :( I have had some crap going on. Anyway, thank you for reading. The next chapter will be slighlty M, but I don't think it's too bad. It's not really that graphic or anything. There won't be many more chapters after this one. I'm done, I'm just editing. I can't seem to get it to sound exactly like I want it so...**

**Okay. Enough rambling. I hope you enjoy it! If you do (or don't even) feel free to let me know ;)**

* * *

When Lisbon woke up this time she felt content. She knew where she was and why she was there. Jane was awake and watching her. He brought his fingers up and brushed them across her eyebrow, down the ridge of her nose, and across her lips. "Good morning, beautiful."

"Morning." She mumbled.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. It felt right, but it also made her feel a little sad. When he pulled away he smiled softly. "What's the matter?"

She shrugged and let him roll her onto his chest. The cut on her arm was scabbed over but it still stung when it caught the edge of the pillow case. She was happy to see it was the only pain she felt at the moment. Even so she tried to forget it, make it disappear. "I'm just sad. I'm not sure if I'm going to make it through this coma. I'm not sure I'm ever going to wake up. If this isn't a dream and I die there..."

She felt him sigh against her cheek, his chest swelling and contracting. "If this is a coma, and I don't feel that it is, then I don't think you're going to die. You're a fighter Teresa. You'll pull through. But if it is a coma, then why would you want to wake up? I wouldn't. We're not together there."

"I want to be real again, that's why. I feel like I'm just as much of a dream as you are." He pulled her closer and ran his fingers up and down her spine. Her body trembled as his hands dipped a little lower each time.

"I wish I could prove that I _am_ real." He mumbled into her hair.

She groaned in protest as his hand stopped moving. "So do I."

"Do I feel real?" He caught her eyes and held them.

"Yes." She raised her lips to his and pressed them together. "You feel real." She ran her hand up his chest and felt his hot skin goose-bump under her fingertips. Some of the muffled feeling was gone today, she felt like her hands were touching him through a pillowcase today instead of a quilt. She felt a little clearer, a little more like she were really on one side of the wall instead of stuck between both. "You feel like I imaged you would, just muffled a little somehow. It's almost like I've sat on my hands and they've fallen asleep every time I try to touch you. I can feel you, but I'm almost numb. It isn't fair."

He closed his eyes as she traveled a curious hand over all the skin on his exposed body, as if to prove it. She was feeling better, but she was still in pain. She felt sore and bruised.

She shook her head as she felt his heartbeat under her palm. Her thoughts drifted back to the change in Grace's eyes, the color change, when she'd walked in on her in the kitchen. She thought back to seeing those eyes again in the graveyard. A shiver ran down her spine, but she pushed it away. When she looked up Jane's eyes were closed, and his breathing was a little thick. She could feel him hard against her thigh suddenly and swallowed thickly.

When his eyes opened back up he looked down at her, watching as she bit her lip. The hurt that had shielded over his face was gone, only black lust touched his eyes. "Teresa, I -"

She shook her head and stopped him by placing her lips against his. His breath was hot against her face, coming in sharp gasps against her cheek when she momentarily paused for air. She moved to kiss him again, allowing him to deepen the kiss the way he had the night before. Again they didn't push it any further than that. They let their mouths move together for a while, not touching anywhere else but their tangled thighs. She could still feel his need against her leg as he shifted and she couldn't stop herself from moaning.

Jane lost himself for a moment and hooked his hand into the waist band of her shorts to began tugging them down. A small part of her thought about stopping him, but a bigger part of her considered chastising him for taking them off so slowly. She ran her fingers up his bare arm and into his hair. When she pulled him closer she felt him stiffen and pause. She pulled away panting and gave him a curious look.

"What's wrong? Why did you stop? Keep going."

"Don't talk like that, it only makes this harder. I don't want you to do this until you know that I'm real. Isn't it kind of weird to you, with you thinking this is all just a dream?" He brought his hand up from her shorts and held her face and lower back.

She couldn't help the pout that broke out on her lips. "A little. People have dirty dreams all the time, though."

He laughed and shook his head. "I know. I'm flattered, I think. I just don't want to be a...a provocative dream to you." She nodded but felt the disappointment show on her flushed face. "I'm not saying never. I'm just saying not right now. Besides, we have to get you to your appointment today. Why don't you give me five minutes to start you a shower and I'll make us some breakfast while you're getting washed up?"

She nodded numbly as he kissed her on the forehead and retreated from the room. She couldn't help the smirk cross her face as she caught sight of the bulge in his pants as he breezed past the end of the bed. If only he hadn't stopped her...

Teresa sat next to Jane in yet another waiting room. This time when he ran his fingertips up and down her thigh she didn't swat his hand away. She sat with her arms crossed in front of her chest, an aggravated look on her face. This was stupid. She did _not_ need this. Who had to see a psychiatrist in dream land?

"Teresa Lisbon?" A nurse held a door open, looking down at a tablet while they passed her. She led them down a corridor of closed rooms until they came to an open door. "Mr. Jane, Dr. Cassidy has asked that you stay in the waiting room." When he opened his mouth to argue she shook her head. "Patient confidentiality, no exceptions. You of all people should understand that."

A small trace of shame lined his features and he nodded. "I'll be out there if you need me."

Teresa smiled and nodded before walking into the room. She made herself comfortable on a floral couch that lined the back wall. The wallpaper was washed out blue, the floor was a cherry hardwood. When the woman walked in and closed the door behind her Lisbon tore her eyes away from the floorboards to return the catchy smile.

"Hello Teresa, I'm..." she paused to check the ID tag that hung on the pocket of her blouse. "Dr. Cassidy. Let me get myself set up here and we'll begin." She walked behind her desk and laid her tablet down carefully. She pulled off her long dress coat and hung it neatly on the back of her chair. When she walked back around and perched herself in the comfortable chair next to the couch Lisbon's breath caught in her throat. They were the same shade of hazel she'd seen that afternoon in her kitchen with Grace, and again in the cemetery.

"I'm sorry, you remind me of someone," Teresa hedged. She didn't want to admit who, someone she had caught while snooping in Jane's attic while he'd been gone. She'd found a hundred pictures in a lock box under his bead. Selfishly she'd gone through them all, trying to feel some sort of connection with him.

"You mean Angela Jane." She smiled, eyes bright. "I understand that. We have a lot to talk about my friend. Complicated questions leading to complicated answers and all that."

"I'm uncomfortable talking with you." Lisbon admitted, shifting nervously on the couch. "I mean...because..."

"I understand." She repeated. "It's not very easy for me either. I just want to give him the best chance at happiness, and you're it. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Sometimes I can feel him if I think about it hard enough. Sometimes I can see you. You're both so wrapped up in denial...it frustrates me! I never thought I would be rooting for a romance that involved Patrick and someone other than me. To be honest if you hadn't wound up in a coma I might have had to possess you to get things rolling." She chuckled at Lisbon's horrified expression. "I'm only joking of course. I can't do that. I'm limited to this." She waved her hand around. "I would already have whipped him into shape but I've forbidden myself from seeing him. Whenever I try to visit him in his sleep, he has terrible nightmares. Out of respect and love I have stopped trying. It also hurts me because I have to relive Charlotte and I's deaths over and over when I try." She paused for a moment before returning to her smile. "I hate to see him in pain. Right now, he's beside you in that lonely hospital room and he's in pain. Every story he tells you, every trick he tries to show you, it causes him a very large amount I'm afraid. It is no longer pain for Charlotte and I, not really, and that makes me a little happy. He can't move on though, not when you're here."

Lisbon sat there for a while before she said anything. "Then why can't you just zap me back?"

Angela chuckled. "I'm sorry. I didn't get any cool super powers. Plus if they offered them to me I would have picked something cool like laser beam eye sight. If I could though, I would 'zap you back' but I can't. Until you get everything figured out here, you won't go back there."

"Get what figured out?" Teresa pleaded.

She shook her head. "I'm sorry, I can't help you more. The only thing I can offer is that there's a lot of blame you put on yourself and I can't help you take it away."

"This is insane! That's not very helpful at all!"

Angela sighed. "Insane indeed." She seemed wistful and her eyes began to get dreamy. "I hope you get it figured out soon. I really do wish I could be of more help."

Teresa nodded. "No offense, but I wish you could be less."

* * *

When Jane and Lisbon returned home she was having an internal battle on whether or not to tell him about her meeting with Angela, or any of the others. After all she had said it was up to Lisbon to tell him whatever she wanted. Every time she tried to come up with something to say, it felt wrong and twisted. No matter what world she was stuck in, he had still lost her and Charlotte.

After her appointment they had gone to the park and fed the ducks bread crumbs. He insisted that she liked to do it. She insisted that he didn't know her at all, and that ducks were stupid. Really he was right, she did like it. She just wouldn't admit it to him. He had tried to talk for a little while, until her one worded answers had aggravated him and he had blown up.

_"Why can't you just talk to me? I want to help you!" He'd said angrily, throwing bread crumbs at the ducks a little too hard. They didn't seem to mind as they quacked and pecked. Shaking the crumbs that hit them out of the feathers._

_ "I don't want help." She said simply, shrugging her shoulders and tossing more crumbs. She was throwing bigger fist fulls now, trying to hurry up and get them home. Any enjoyment she was getting out of it, the argument was ruining. _

_ "Is this how it is in your world?" He'd said the last two words with a little cynicism that caught her in the chest. _

_ "In my world we aren't together. In my world you trick me, you lie to me, you've slept with someone else." She felt awful for tacking on the last part. It was unneeded, maybe. She wasn't about to apologize for it though, and it was something she'd never dare bring up to Real Jane. Dream Jane was easier to confess to. "You left us all, me, Cho, Grace, Rigsby, you left us all for six months. You went to Vegas and you threw your celibacy away on a waitress. She was a disciple of the man who killed your family. If you love me so much there, as you keep assuming, then why did you leave me for six months without so much as a text and sleep with someone else?"_

_ "No." he said simply, feeling deflated. She could see it in his face. "I would never do that."_

_ "Well you have." She tossed more crumbs, for something to do so she wouldn't have to look at him. All of the ducks had skittered away after Jane's last hateful fistful of bread crumbs had hit one of them a little too roughly. She wanted to say, _Jeeze Jane. You don't have to knock around a duck because you're upset. _But that felt too much like something she would have said to Real Jane, and probably not in a situation where she had been the one stirring the pot. _

After that he'd wordlessly walked back to his car, apology to assaulted duck and all. She waited a couple moments before returning to sit in the passenger seat. They didn't say anything for a long time. He stopped and bought them a quick dinner for a deli and they ate in silence in the parking lot. She hadn't eaten much, she couldn't stand the sickness in her stomach.

"Jane...Patrick I mean. I need to talk to you."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, hun. I don't feel like talking tonight. It's been a long day, and I'm very tired." She nodded, defeated, and followed him to their bedroom. "We'll talk in the morning, I promise. For now I'm going to take a shower, try to forget this awful day, and come crawl into bed, hopefully with you."

She waited for him to leave to pull a pair of pajama shorts and a tank top out of her dresser. She was becoming more comfortable in their shared space. It made her heart ache knowing that when she came out of this she was going home to her lonely apartment. When she opened the drawer for a pair of socks, she caught sight of the engagement band and hesitated. He must have moved it, felt it was safer among her things. _Where it belongs_. She lifted it from her drawer and flipped it around in her fingers. It really was pretty, a platinum band, a square cut sparkling diamond. It was almost old fashioned, simple as it was, and she smiled. It was Jane through and through. Sadly she placed it back in the bottom of her drawer and shut it.

She curled her fingers up in her pajamas and walked briskly toward the bathroom. If she slowed down she'd lose her nerve. She pushed the door open slowly without knocking and threw her clothes on the counter. She began undressing as she walked toward the bathroom. Her shirt in the bedroom, bra by the bedroom door, pants in the hallway, panties at the closed bathroom door. Then, quietly as she could, she opened that door and shut it behind her. It took a deep and steadied breath to talk her into slipping behind the curtain. She was pleasantly surprised to see Jane's naked body. He either hadn't noticed her yet, or he was trying not to. Suddenly she felt stupid, and embarrassed. Pushing those thoughts away she concentrated back on his naked body as he rinsed the shampoo out of his hair. Head back, mouth parted, eyes closed. His hands moved back and forth through his hair, massaging his scalp, dragging it out. Part of her wondered if she made him look like this or if he really did appear this way in real life. The way his skin pulled tight against taunt muscles made her hands shake. She wanted to touch him.

He opened his eyes and stepped out of the spray of the water. A little shock lined his features and she began to feel that embarrassment again. Her cheeks reddened and she moved to back herself out of the shower, apologizing softly. He opened his mouth to say something when she slipped on a slick spot and almost fell. Jane caught her, barely, by the arm and roughly drug her up and to him, wrapping his arms loosely around her.

"Where are you going?" His breath was husky, and she felt him twitch against her leg in response to her skin touching his.

She opened her mouth and cleared her throat. "Back to the, um, room. I'm sorry I came in here."

"I'm not." He gave her a soft smile. "I'm not mad anymore, if that's what you mean. I'm trying to put myself in your place, I really am. I couldn't image waking up in some other world. I'm sorry I've been so pushy."

She shook her head. "You haven't. You've been pretty perfect. I'm sorry I'm so stubborn." She moved closer into his embrace and placed an awkward kiss to his neck. She felt him shudder under her and placed a more confident one on his collar bone.

"We talked about this." He mumbled, his hands slipping form her shoulders to her hips and gripping tightly, contradicting his tone. "I can't do this if you don't think I'm real. I want all of you when it happens."

"You talk like it's our first time." She placed another kiss to the base of his throat.

"Mm...it is for you, isn't it?"

She nipped the skin of his chest with her teeth and felt his grip tighten on her waist. She didn't bother answering him. No. Not really. She'd dreamed of this many times before. She had a feeling telling him that would only discourage him further, so she left it alone. The water was warm and slipped down his shoulders and in between them. He moaned when her fingernails grazed his back, her mouth placing hot slow kisses along the arch of his neck and along his jaw. When she pulled away he looked down at her, serious and intense.

He let her go and reached behind himself to grab her wrists. She felt a little panic at the thought of being rejected and he shook his head. "I'm not saying no."

"Just not right now." She whispered.

He shook his head again. "I'm not saying that either. What I'm saying is...maybe we should move this someplace else. You almost slipped once already. As much as I want this to end in fireworks, I don't want them to land us in the hospital."

That made her snort with laughter. How ironic.

* * *

JUST A WARNING! The next chapter will have a slightly M rated scene. I don't think it's too bad...anyway. Thank you for all of the favorite story/author and alerts! REVIEWS ARE LOVED :) :) :)


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Here is the M chapter. Also, I think I had a review or two asking when she was going to wake up. I'm pretty sure this is the last Dream Jane chapter. I will miss him. This wouldn't turn out exactly like I wanted to or I would have updated sooner. Thanks to all of you for reviews, alerts, and favorites. I hope you enjoy it. Please let me know either way, do or don't, because reviews are loved. **

* * *

Teresa let his mouth graze around her body as he laid her back on the bed. They were both still wet and naked from the shower. His mouth connected with hers again as he moved to cover her body with his. She felt a small stab of panic in her stomach as she felt his hard heat near ever closer. "Reese," he whispered. She let it enter her mind that since she'd rejected him that first morning he'd been careful to call her Teresa and not Reese.

"Mm?"

"I love you."

She peeked up at him through thick lashes and sighed as he pressed into her. After a moment of panic, she murmured low, against his lips, "I love you, too."

Just like that she'd finally said it to him. He gave her a couple seconds to adjust to him, a couple seconds to adjust to what she'd said, before he began to move. He kept the rhythm maddeningly slow, she was already frustrated that it constantly felt like there were a barrier between them. Something small and thin like a ragged sheet now, but constantly, _aggravatingly_ there. She could feel through the holes in it sometimes, if he moved just right and she found her hands on his skin in a certain way. A split second of spark and then it would be gone before it could burst into flame. She moved her hips with his, hands tight on his back to hold him close to her. She blocked out all thoughts, just concentrated on the two of them, on what they were doing. The heat in her body was growing immense. It crashed over her in waves as he quickened his pace a little. He was obviously enjoying himself, his breath against her neck was labored and hot.

She felt a moan rumble through her chest, and twisted a hand in his hair. His pace picked up a little more and she could feel a familiar heat building in her stomach. She tried to think of other things, not ready to let this end. After all, who knew if she would ever have the chance to repeat it? The smell and feel of his skin, his muscles under her fingertips, his curls wrapped around her fist. Even muffled his body felt like heaven. All of that mixed with his body meshing with hers and proved too much. With a shudder she felt herself release and threw her hips into his. She moaned his name over and over, felt his mouth attack her neck as she did so. He moved through her orgasm and into his. She felt his body shake and tense, felt his mouth nip her shoulder to contain himself. Heaven, she repeated in her head, maybe she had died after all. When he shuddered for the last time, he lifted his head and placed a simple kiss on her lips.

She opened her eyes and smiled up at him. She felt hazy and weak. "Amazing." It was true, even softened.

He chuckled nervously and touched another kiss to her lips. "Mm-hm."

For the first time since she'd "woken up", she felt complete. She felt whole. Maybe she never wanted to leave this place. Maybe she could live here forever. "Are things...always this good between us?"

He nodded and placed another kiss to her lips. He rocked back against her a couple times and she moaned against his mouth. "Sometimes better." He murmured. "Give me a couple minutes and I can show you."

This time when he pressed his mouth to hers, she deepened the kiss with fevered need.

* * *

When Teresa opened her eyes, the other side of the bed was empty. She pulled his button down the rest of the way around her shoulders and buttoned it up slowly. She sighed in disappointment, and rolled over to pull herself up. The pain was getting worse. She was sure what she'd done with Jane (the number of times she'd done it _almost_ made her ashamed of herself) hadn't helped, and winced. Or maybe it was the last bout they'd gone this morning. She couldn't help it. Every time she thought she was done, it was out of her system, something would click inside her and she'd pull him back to her. It was something he'd obviously missed because he hadn't argued even once. Not even so much as a complaint, even when she'd seen him wince as he contracted his abs to sit up this morning. Now she did blush.

When she pulled herself all the way up to the edge of the bed she noticed a small piece of paper next to her bed on her table. Next to it was the engagement ring.

_I don't expect you to wear it yet, but I hope you will soon. I've gone to the store to get a few things for dinner, I should be home around noon. Please take a long hot bath and relax. I cut up some strawberries for you and put them in the fridge. I love you. _

_ Forever yours,_

_ Patrick_

She closed her eyes tight and sighed. Oh, this was _so_ messed up. How could she ever have let herself believe she could have stayed here? _Forever yours_? Her head was just being cruel now, prodding her heart with mean little poisoned daggers.

"It's easy to get lost in him."

She jolted her eyes open and felt a stab of pain run through her chest. She took in a deep breath and pressed her hand there, hard. "It is." She agreed.

"They're thinning out your medication to try to get you to come out of it." She looked sympathetic as her eyes scanned over Teresa's frame. "Sometimes you don't get to work through the things you need to before you wake up. Sometimes science intervenes with fate. I'm sorry you're in pain."

"I'm sorry, too." Partially she meant herself, partially she meant Angela.

"A necessary evil." She amended with a wave of her hand. "For us both."

"I wish it didn't have to be like this, for you, for him, for..." She let herself trail off unsure of how to say their child's name.

"So do I." Her saddened eyes didn't catch her smile. "I have worried about him so much. He wants so badly to be forever punished for what's happened to us. I want so badly for him to forgive himself and move on. I'm afraid I can't until he does, so I'm somewhat selfishly motivated. I want to see him happy, but I want to be happy, too. Charlotte is waiting on me, and I can't go to her until I fix him."

Teresa felt a stab of guilt. "It must be so hard for you."

Angela nodded. "It is. I would give just about anything to be able to talk to him one more time. I just want to tell him that we don't blame him. That I just want to see him happy." Her eyes rimmed with wetness and she shook her head. "It's hard for me to tell you to love him, when I still love him so very much. Because I do, I have to. Because I love him, I can see just how very much he cares for you. Red John is gone. _Charlotte is gone_. I am gone." She paused to collect herself.

"Take my place, Angela." She sat up a little straighter, wincing. She watched the confusion flash over her face. "He'll know it's you. If this is real, take my place."

"I appreciate that, and I admire your selflessness. It wouldn't work, but if it did you would probably die. You wouldn't stay here."

She nodded. "I understand that. We could try it. I'm willing to."

Angela shook her head. "No. No, I can't. I want to be with Charlotte, I've waited long enough. It's time for him to move on just as much as it's time for me to do so. It's time for him to finish forgiving himself and love you. You need to forgive yourself and admit to loving him as much there as you do here."

Teresa stiffened and stole a glance at the ring on the night stand. "Forgive myself for what?"

"For loving him." When her eyes met Angela's she could see the sincerity. "It isn't wrong that you love him. He isn't mine anymore. He hasn't been for...oh, a decade or so. I'm so bad with time anymore. Forgive yourself for that. But, also, for killing Red John, for the loss of your mother, for the guilt you feel over your relationship with your brothers, for the guilt you feel over your father's death. Just as Patrick must come to terms with our loss, you must come to terms with your losses. I like you Teresa, and I wouldn't be here if I didn't feel that you would be what he needs."

Teresa wiped roughly at her eyes and cursed herself for getting so emotional. She was used to being a rock, used to being so stead fast in hiding her emotions.

"I have to go now. Don't take this the wrong way but I hope it's the last time I see you. I am sorry that I can't help you forgive yourself, I would if I could, but I do hope that you will."

She nodded as more hot tears trailed down her cheeks. Angrily she wiped them away with shaking hands. She sat down hard against the pillows Jane had propped up against the headboard with another stab of pain. It was getting much worse, she felt so sick. Instead of feeling sore or bruised she felt broken and twisted. She didn't hear the front door open, or Jane's footsteps as he sauntered down the hallway holding a small bracelet in his fingers. He wanted to tell her that they would get through this, that no matter what he would be there, because he loved her and nothing would change that.

When he stepped into the room he froze, the smile on his face dissolved. "Reese!" He ran across the small room, holding the bracelet tightly. She felt everything in her stomach come up before he could get the small trashcan under her. She was too sick to see him slid the bracelet into his pocket. She tried to apologize, but got sick before she could. He rubbed her back slowly, dabbed at her damp forehead with the back of his shirt sleeve. "What's wrong? Tell me how to fix it."

She felt herself lurch forward as she lost her stomach again. "Pain." She groaned, feeling the nausea wean off. "Pain, Patrick. _So_ _much_ _pain_."

He shushed her, wiping at her forehead again, and smoothing her hair back from her face. "It's all going to be fine. You just lay back and try to get some rest. When you open your eyes I'll be here and everything will be fine, I promise."

For the second time she fought for consciousness to have a couple extra moments with Patrick Jane. She thought of the look in Angela's eyes, thought of her bravery. She wanted to be there for Real Jane, but she didn't want to leave Dream Jane. For him, either of him, she would do anything. She borrowed some of Angela's bravery and fought her eyes open.

"Patrick, I love you."

"I love you, too." He whispered, concern awash in his eyes.

"Will you take me to the bathroom? I want to brush my teeth and take a hot bath. My whole body hurts and my mouth taste just awful." She pulled herself up, felt the sweat sticking her hair to her neck. He carefully picked her up under her knees and neck. She held herself up with her arms around his neck, breathing in his scent.

She sat on the toilet and brushed her teeth while he ran her a bath. At her request he left the lights off (a growing headache made a few tears slip out of her eyes) but lit the candles so that they wouldn't hurt themselves in the dark. He poured in bath salts and stirred the water. He wore a t-shirt, and she watched as the drops of water soaked into his shirt. Not just soaked, but spread. She closed her eyes as she spit into the sink and tried not to cry. Between the pain, and her only proof of this being nothing more than a coma dying in front of her, her brain was on overdrive.

Jane seemed to sense this and rubbed her back soothingly. "Do you want help?" When she nodded he unbuttoned his shirt and slid it down her shoulders. He carefully helped her step over the edge of the tub and into the hot water. She winced as she submerged her agonized body. "Is it too hot?"

"No, it's fine. Stop worrying so much and sit with me for a little while." She could feel the bruise on her rib cage, the broken bones in her wrist and leg. Her head was screaming in an excruciating ache. He sat next to the tub, his back against the wall, legs out in front of him. He reached up gingerly and grabbed her hand. She felt a slight prick in the crease of her arm and warmth flooding through her body. Groggily the pain began to ebb away.

"I got you something while I was out today. Do you want to see it?"

She peeked out and nodded. Even in the dim light of the candles the effort it took to look at him made her body cringe. He dug in his pocket before linking a charm bracelet around her wrist. He ran his fingertips up and down her fingers and across the back of her hand. "Let me tell you about them. While I do why don't you just close your eyes and relax." He waited until her eyes were closed to speak again. His voice was so low she had to strain to hear him. "This one is a car. I wanted to put it on there because I don't think I'll ever be able to let you in another one alone after the details of the accident you gave me last night. This one is a Chinese symbol for dreaming. I picked it because...to remind you that _I'm not a dream_. This little lily I wanted you to have because it was Charlotte's favorite flower. I thought it would remind you of how appreciative I am that you accept my past so willingly. This one," he paused while he touched her wrist, finger tips lingering. "Is a moon."

She chuckled despite herself. "What am I supposed to say here? Hm, oh are corny and foolish."

"I may be my dear, but I got you the moon as promised."

Now she frowned and began to sit up out of the water. She didn't want to hear anymore. She didn't need this to be harder than it already would be. "Take me to bed, please. In the guest room. I don't even want you to waste time cleaning up after me right now, as gross as that is. I just don't want you to be away from me for too long." She knew she was going home soon, but she wanted all the time she could get with Dream Jane. Who knew how mad Real Jane would be, if he were even there at her side as Angela had said. He could just be waiting on her to wake up to tell her how much he loathed her. How much he wanted to turn his revenge on her instead. She sucked in a breath at the thought and Dream Jane grabbed her gingerly around to waist to steady her, misreading her.

Jane wrapped her in a towel and ran his hands up and down her arms to warm her. Slowly he picked her up, careful not to jostle her too much, and carried her to the guest room. He helped her get comfortable then crawled in next to her, pulling her close. The pain was so bad she could feel her whole body shaking. It had edged off, in the sense that she didn't feel like throwing up or screaming anymore, but still enough to make her tremble all over. She couldn't stop it, couldn't even calm it down. "J-Jane, _Patrick_. When I fall asleep, I don't think I'm coming b-back to this you. D-Don't say anything. I don't think I can get myself started again. I made a promise to the other you. I have to get back to him." She took a break, felt him hold her a little tighter. "I'll miss you. It seems silly to s-say."

"I will miss you, too. If you fall asleep and I wake up next to my Reese, I will miss a little you still."

She nodded and tried to breathe deep. "I promised you I would come home, I have to k-keep it. I have to tell you something first. I talked to Angela and she told me I have to f-forgive myself. For a lot of things, like my dad and mom, my brothers, and you. I don't, but...but I'm starting to. I want to forgive myself because when I get back to J-Jane, I'm going to love him as much as I love you." She felt the threat of tears bubble up in her throat but she choked it back down. "Even if he doesn't feel the same. Even if he is mad enough to kill me."

She felt his lips press to hers, but her heavy lids were already closing. "Mm-mm. Don't think anymore, don't speak anymore. Sleep Reese. I'll be here when you wake up."


	8. Chapter 8

Jane kept his head on the edge of the bed. He was so weary from lack of sleep he had to fight to keep his eyes open. He had only left twice. The first time when her brothers had shown up. He felt confident that at least Tommy would contact him if she woke up. He had showered and packed all of the clothes he had into a duffel bag. Most of the nurses were pleasant with him and let him stay in the chair beside her bed. Maybe because he'd promised that he was next of kin. Maybe because he'd told them that he was her fiance. He showered in the adjoining bathroom while he was there, taking up time, brushed his teeth six times a day. He walked a worn path in the linoleum around her bed. He watched soap operas, cartoons, and the home improvement channel.

When Grace and Cho had come up to see Teresa, he had politely stepped out. He could see the blame in their faces, even when they gave him polite smile and asked how he was doing. What were her changes? What had the doctor's been saying? He felt the sickness touch his stomach as he shook his head every time. When Rigsby and Sarah came up, he reluctantly held the ball of energy that was a slighlty-over-one-year-old Benjamin in the hallway. What had felt like a stab in the heart at first, something that made him miss Charlotte badly, wound up being a small sun ray of joy in his day.

Today he kept his hand on top of Lisbon's, fingers curled around it protectively. He was mindful of the IV in her wrist, the cast on the other. He tried not to shift too much as he fought to get comfortable. He didn't want to bump her, or her bruised ribs, or punctured lung, or broken leg. Now he fought to compose himself. This was his fault. The sickness in his stomach threatened to make him vomit. He took steady deep breaths to get himself under control. He did not want to be in the bathroom getting sick when she finally opened her eyes. Today. He was sure it had to be today. It had been long enough and they had promises to keep. He had to prove he loved her, she had to wake up for him to do it.

He lifted his head and watched her eyelids flicker. A cruel trick that had been played on him for two weeks, but his heartbeat sped up anyway. But just like every other time he would hold his breath and hope to see her eyes open, only they never did. Not this time either. He just wanted to hear her say, "_Why are you here you idiot? Go home, I'm fine_." Not that he would leave even then, but at least he could let out this breath he'd been holding for the past fourteen days.

"Please, please, Lisbon" he whispered. He ran his fingertip across the bandage above her eyebrow. "Please open your eyes for me." He dropped it to the bridge of her nose, happy to see the bruise gone. "I need to give you something. I had it made just for you, and I can't give it to you until you open your eyes." He lined her lips and then her jaw. "So, please," he breathed. He used a feather touch, careful.

"Patrick, please." Lisbon groaned, throat sore. _From throwing up, _she thought without opening her eyes. "I'm trying to sleep." She could feel his entire body freeze as her eyes struggled to open. When they finally did she felt disoriented at first, then smiled softly. She was not tangled in guest room sheets with him this time. This time when she hurt all over she could see the casts to prove it was real pain. One point for Dream Land then, crazy was losing. "I'm so happy to see you. The real you." He shook his head in misunderstanding, and she smiled even wider. "Where's your witty remark? Welcome back to the living, or something like that?"

Jane felt confused at so much more than her causal demeanor, but shook it off. She was awake, _she was awake_. His hand stayed on her jaw, but it was still as stone. He was afraid to move at all. "Are you...are you okay?" _Dumb question, _he thought to himself.

She nodded and winced. "Mm sore, but good." She felt his fingertips start moving against her jaw again. "Is Red John..." She let her question taper off. Jane nodded. "Oh God, Jane. I'm so sorry. I know how much it meant to you to... Oh, God. I'm so, so, so sorry that I did it. I don't know why I did it, I just wanted... I wouldn't have let you do it, and then I..." She growled in frustration at not being able to collect the right thoughts. "How mad are you? Unforgivably?"

Surprisingly he gave a rough snort of laughter. "Mad?" He shook his head then repeated, "mad?" When she nodded he leaned forward in his seat, his face inches from her's. "I am _**furious**_." She could feel her stomach drop, the sickness returning full force. She was achy and afraid to throw up, but so she fought to keep herself calmed down. "I am so mad that you almost...almost _died_. I am not mad at you because his car slid on a puddle and he killed himself. By the time it dawned on me that he were dead, I realized it no longer mattered to me. I expected to feel so angry, unforgivably so, yes. Because I did not get to take that revenge myself. However, when I thought about it, the only thing I was remotely mad about was not being there to protect you, or take your place."

She wrinkled her brow and winced at the pain. "Well I'm sorry still...for everything, I guess."

He shook his head and smiled tiredly. "Don't sorry me, I don't want to hear it. Just tell me where you've been, because I've missed you like crazy."

She didn't bother analyzing what he'd said like she would have before. She had learned a few lessons in Dream Land. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Teresa cursed as Jane lowered her onto her bed. She had stayed an extra week in the hospital to make sure everything checked out. By the time they left Jane had quit panicking when she fell asleep. Not that she could blame him, she felt nervous about it, too. Two weeks of sleep had been long enough, and she was a little tired of dreaming.

"I'm sorry," he apologized for the sixteenth time since they'd walked through her bedroom door. "Are you comfortable?"

She relaxed against the pillows stacked against her headboard. A familiar place for her to be. However, in a twist of unfamiliar, her leg, still in a cast, was propped up, too. Her wrist hurt like a bitch, but when she laid her arm in her sling she felt the pain ease of a little. She nodded absently and patted the bed next to her. "Sit with me." He sat rigidly next to her and held his breath. "I said sit with me, Jane. You're acting like you'll break me if you relax. I'm skin and bones not porcelain."

"I feel that you are," he mumbled, moving to sit back against the pillows with her. She laid against his chest, and smiled when he sneaked an arm around her to pull her closer. She did her best to not sigh at the pain and chance running him off. A couple of times she had to stop herself from habits she'd picked up while she'd been away. Like kissing him or touching his bare chest. As if sensing the thought Jane said, "Are you ever going to tell me where you were?"

She felt her heart rate race as she debated it. For seven days he had sat beside her hospital bed. They talked about a lot of things, but they each had one thing that they didn't touch on. He didn't mention that he loved her (even though he had a promise to keep) and she didn't mention where she'd been for fourteen days. "I had the craziest...dream." She started, running her fingertips up and down his thigh as she spoke. It clicked in her head that it was dream habit, but she allowed herself to feel delighted when he didn't tense, didn't stop her, so she continued. The intimate gesture made her stomach flutter. "I dreamed I woke up."

"Hm, absurd indeed."

"Don't interrupt, it's rude. When I woke up...things were so different. I worked at a youth detention center with you, Grace, and Cho. Rigsby was a doctor."

"Odd." He moved his arm tighter around her and grazed her shoulder with his fingertips.

"That's not even the weirdest part. Grace and Cho were married and they were going to have a baby." She felt Jane chuckle under her. "Even weirder? You were a psychologist."

"Never." He gasp in mock dismay. Then with some thought he added, "your mind is an odd bird."

Now she laughed. "I know, right. Want to hear something even weirder?"

"Weirder than all of that? I can't believe you'd even have to ask. It's as if you don't even know me." He was now tracing random patterns on her back through her shirt, up and down her spine. She felt herself shiver as he dropped a little low. She could all but see the smug smile on his face, but she ignored it and concentrated on the feel. It was just like when she'd been awake in her sleep (she paused to inwardly roll her eyes at the messed up thought) only here he was not muffled, not muted. It felt like electricity instead of just a spark.

"We were living together."

The pause hung in the air. Finally Jane broke it. "Like...like buddies?"

She shook her head, and felt him stiffen under her. Immediately she regretted what she'd said. She began to think of ways to back peddle, maybe make it look like a joke when he caught her by surprise.

"Why is that weird? Why is it even remotely weirder than Grace and Cho having a baby, or...or Rigsby being a doctor? We could live together as not-buddies. That's feasible." He caught her chin and brought her eyes up to his. "You have no idea how much I've missed you." His eyes flickered with something she'd never seen in _him_ before, doubt. On his face it looked so misplaced and foreign, but Dream Jane had seemed comfortable figuring his doubt out. "I mean, I had so much time to think. For a while we weren't sure you were ever coming back. It forced me to put my life into perspective. To think about Angela and Charlotte. To think about what you meant to me. What it would mean to me if I lost you. That scared me tremendously." His voice dropped at the end.

"I missed you, too." She felt his breath on her lips, they were so close now that she could see the individual flecks of color in his eyes. Specks of green shredded through ice blue. "I sort of spent the entire time with you...but it's not quite the same." She felt her cheeks flush as she thought about the _time _they had spent together there. The dating, the dancing, the kissing, the -

She watched a knowing smile cross his lips as he leaned a little closer. His hot breath lapped at her face and she sighed in content despite herself. Hesitantly he pressed his lips to her's and she felt her eyes flutter shut. They stayed like that for a few moments, both of them unsure of what to do next. She willed herself brave and pressed her mouth a little tighter against his. She felt him relax under her and allowed the kiss to deepen. His mouth moving with hers, tongues touching, made her body tingle.

After oxygen became important they broke apart panting. She winced in pain as she shifted and his smile wavered. "I should have waited."

"You've waited long enough." She mumbled sheepishly, then a little more loudly, "I don't think I could have waited anymore."

He chuckled and her body buzzed with his electricity. "To be honest, I don't think I could have either. I'm just regretful that you're in pain - and also that it took me this long and this much." He pulled her back into his chest cautiously and pressed a kiss onto her forehead. "Tell me more about your dream."

She hesitated, considering which details were appropriate, and which were not. "Hmm...Grace looked pretty good pregnant. I sort of wished I'd stayed long enough to meet the baby. I bet he would have been adorable."

Jane scoffed and she smiled. "_Really_? Not all babies are cute. Imagine Cho with red hair and freckles. That is _not_ adorable."

She chuckled and pressed her body closer to his. She felt a little frustrated when her casted leg held her back. "Rigsby actually made a pretty good doctor. He didn't seem that different than he does now. I imagine he probably fit better interrogating bandages than bad guys there." She paused and looked up at him. "You were just you, nothing important changed." She meekly pressed her lips to his jaw and watched a small smile tug at the corners of his lips. "You smelled like you, you looked like you," she hesitated, "you...you _felt_ like you." She'd whispered the last part so low she wasn't sure he'd heard her. She felt frustrated when her cheeks reddened.

"I _felt_ like me?" He pushed, smoothing her hair back from her face with a soft touch. "How so?"

She let her eyes close as his hand ran through her hair, the other at her hip. "You just did, only everything was muffled. It was like touching you through a pillow case instead of skin on skin." She winced and squeezed her eyes further shut with a groan. Why did her mouth have to run faster than the part of her brain that was _supposed _to censor that crap out? Probably because it was like any other muscle and she hadn't exercised it for the past fourteen days.

"Hm," he stopped running his fingers through her hair, moving to cup her cheek and gently urge her to look up at him. "So there was skin to skin touching between us, eh?" His eyes weren't exactly playful or teasing. They were lustful, and serious. "How so? Holding hands, kissing, touching, or more?"

She felt her mouth go dry at his new attention and swallowed hard. "Just...ya know..._regular stuff_." Her face felt so hot, her skin so red, that she wanted to crawl into his suit jacket and never come back out.

He chuckled and placed a simple kiss on her lips, the sudden look in his eyes less serious with the playful edge. "Maybe when you're feeling better," he broke the sentence to kiss her again, this time a little more forcefully, "you can show me what this 'regular stuff' is." He pressed his mouth to hers and let the kiss deepen. She was thankful to not be standing for fear that she might give away the tremor that ran through her body. His mouth made her spine electrocute her nervous system. A million volts of Jane to the system, and her heart was beating out of her chest.

When they started to pull apart he placed a last few small but hungry kisses to her lips and she moaned. "Definitely."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Okay, I wasn't going to do another M rated chapter but during editing I felt it was almost necessary. So...THIS IS SLIGHLTY M After all she hadn't done anything with Real Jane and I felt it was unfair. *shrugs* I hope you like it. You can let me know either way. Thank you soo so soooo much for reading. After this I only have one more chapter, the epilouge. I am sad to see it go, but already halfway through another odd story that I should be posting soon. Please enjoy :) **

* * *

Teresa groaned in discomfort and resisted the urge to try to wiggle her fingers into her cast to scratch at her leg. She wanted relief desperately. In more ways than one, and she supposed that was why she felt so aggravated. Of course, if there was aggravation in her life Jane was usually at the center of it. Nothing new there. Night after night Jane would be there in her bed. He would lay next to her, he would whisper to her, nudge her ear with his lips, touch them to hers, _tease her. _She groaned again and clenched her fists, as best as she could anyway.

Grace peeked at her from behind a magazine, and gave her a disapproving glance. "They'll call you back soon, boss. Be patient."

Lisbon threw her hands up in the air and shook her head. "I'm tired of patient. I want these casts off. I want to get back to some sort of normalcy."

As if on cue, "Teresa Lisbon?" The nurse opened the door for her and Grace dropped the magazine to help her stand. As they hobbled past her in an odd dance of awkward mobility, the nurse winked at Lisbon. It was then that she noticed the hazel coloring to her eyes and tripped. "Careful, so you don't wind up in those things any longer sweetie."

"Easy, boss." Grace ignored the misstep and pulled her down the hallway to the designated room. When the nurse let them in Lisbon caught her eyes and sighed. They were brown and bored. Her mind was playing tricks on her then.

She sat in a chair and waited on the doctor to come in, watching Grace flip through another magazine next to her. Too fast to be reading the words. "Are you ever mad at me?" Teresa suddenly asked her pointedly.

"For chasing after Red John, you mean?" She didn't bother looking up. "A little, but only because it was selfish and stupid. We all wanted it to be over, but you could have gotten yourself killed. I get that you had...another agenda on your mind when you got behind that wheel but...I'm only not still mad because you're here."

Lisbon swallowed hard and nodded. "That isn't exactly what I meant, but I am sorry. I meant about you and Rigsby."

Grace slowly set her magazine down and seemed to think. "No." She answered honestly. "If we hadn't broken up then, we would have eventually. Are you asking me because you and Jane are...whatever you are?"

Teresa sat still and bit her lip. They were definitely whatever, dating wasn't the right term and they surely weren't sleeping together. Not in the sexual sense. _Not yet_. "I guess."

"No." Grace smiled faintly. "I like to think we're friends, boss. As a friend I wouldn't feel right with myself for being upset with your happiness."

She could tell that it hadn't been a slight against her, but she felt the sting anyway.

* * *

Teresa took a few awkward steps around the living room waiting on Jane to arrive. He had returned to his apartment for fresh clothes and a shower. Grace had escorted her to her apartment after the casts had been removed. She flexed her wrist and sighed in content. Finally she felt free, if not maybe a little sore, but all the same she was free. She walked around the couch one more time, reveling in the feel of her bare foot touching carpet instead of cast. She had taken a lot hot bath. Happy to let her arm and leg touch hot water. The itchy skin soothed by cinnamon apple bath salts. When she'd gotten out and dressed herself she'd let her toes curl up in the carpet. She'd done the same thing all the way down the hallway and around and around the couch. She might have explored further but she wanted to have the couch to lean on if she needed it. She was still doing this now, twenty minutes later.

She didn't hear the door click open, or softly shut. She walked one more lap and giggled a little. The carpet had never felt so good under her feet. When she looked up she felt the blush redden her cheeks. "Jane? How long have you been standing there?"

He walked a little closer, something glinting and weaved between his finger tips. "I got you something when you were in...and I had to pick it up, it's why I'm late." He grinned and touched his lips to hers softly. "I'm happy to see you cast free."

"I'm even happier to be so." She let him place another kiss on her lips before pulling up her newly freed wrist. He opened the latches of a bracelet and wrapped it around her wrist. It was a simple platinum band with a few spread out charms.

"I had this made while you were...I wasn't sure if it would be for..." He shook his head, pushing those thoughts away. She heard the unspoken words anyway _coma, funeral_. "Let me explain them to you." He eased them onto the couch and pulled her wrist into his lap. He twisted the bracelet around her wrist as he spoke, his fingertips grazing her skin made her heart race. "This one is a car, its the only one you're allowed around without supervision for a long, long, long, long, long time." She chuckled a little as he spun the bracelet, letting his fingertips graze her skin as he did so. She wanted to cut in and explain them herself, tell him how she knew and what the differences were between here and there, but she bit her tongue. "This is a Chinese symbol for dreaming. If sleep was not so important, I would also say it is the only dreaming you are allowed to do for a long, long, long time." She watched his vision waver.

She lifted her hand and touched his cheek gingerly. "Patrick." When he looked up at her she smiled gently. "I am not going back there."

"What was I like?" He asked suddenly, forgetting to mention the last charm. "Besides the fact that I didn't quite _feel _like me."

"Hm," She paused and considered, opened her mouth, and then paused and considered some more before finally speaking. She fidgeted with the bracelet nervously. "I already told you, you were mostly you. You were charming. You were funny." She waited, unsure of how to say it. "Except, except you were genuinely happy."

"My...Angela and...they weren't?" He hedged, his voice dropping so low she hardly heard him.

"They were, still, just..." She paused with a sigh. "A car accident instead. You maybe didn't blame yourself, so you were maybe able to actually grieve normally."

He nodded, taking her hand in his and flipping it over to show her the last charm. It was a small leaf, but it didn't match the rest. Instead it matched the clasp, both gold. "This is a leaf to symbolize new growth. I had them make it out of my wedding band. I couldn't wear it anymore, but I couldn't get rid of it just...just I wanted you to have a piece of it. A piece of the old me to go with the new me." He pulled something out of his pocket and showed it to her. It was the rest of the gold band melted down, it had been formed into a very small flat heart shape and linked onto a basic gold chain. Angela and Charlotte's initials were inscribed into it. "I still have my piece, too. Just mine is for remembering and moving on toward my future, yours is for accepting my past and a dark piece of me that nobody else would have."

Teresa steadied herself and placed a clumsy kiss to his lips. When she pulled away she smiled at him. "I love you."

He tensed she could see it, "I love you, too." He placed the chain back into his pocket and moved to kiss her, then to deepen it. When he pulled away his breath was a little hard to come by. "I don't mean to tense when you say it, or I return it, it's just been a while since someone has said it to me. A long time since someone has said it and meant it. It will take some getting used to, like exercising an atrophied muscle, one that hasn't been worked for a very long time. Please, just be patient with me." He kissed her again, touching her lips so softly with his she was hardly sure he'd even kissed her. "Are you feeling better?"

"Mm," she agreed. "Much. Why?"

"I was wondering what those 'regular things' might be."

She wanted to giggle, thinking he was lightly playing with her. When she looked at his face, her smile stopped and she swallowed hard. _It's now or never, don't be a chicken. _She closed her eyes and steadied herself. _Bawk, bawk, chicken Lisbon._ When she opened her eyes she watched confusion cloud his face. Her best guess was he thought she didn't want it. Maybe he thought she felt it was too soon. She grabbed him by the vest as he began to pull away and jerked him against her, kissing him. It was a rough start to a rougher kiss. Electricity shot down her spine, lightening strikes hit her every nerve. Oh yes, she was not crazy, fully awake, and _alive_. This time there wasn't anything to block them from touching. The barrier between where her body was and where her brain landed was gone, the softened feel of his skin, his body, his kiss, his touch was gone. Instead of feeling a spark, she felt the flames. They licked at her skin, their heat, _his heat_, reddening her tone.

He ran his hands under her shirt, pulling it off over her head in one fluid movement. She could feel the bracelet jingle against her wrist as he did. His mouth was back on hers, hot and needy. She was getting frustrated, trying to unbutton his vest. She pulled away with an aggravated grunt to give it more focus. "Why do you even wear this stupid thing?"

He smiled knowingly at her, before pushing her hands away and unbuttoning it himself. He threw it on the floor, doing the same with his light blue button down. She took a moment to look him over, let him to do the same with her. "You look just like I thought you would." She said finally with a shy smile.

He slid his shaking hand around the side of her neck, thumb on her jaw. For a couple beats he sat like that, caressing the skin of her jawline. Slowly he brought his lips back to hers, deliberately taking his time. He moved his mouth with hers, touched his tongue to her bottom lip, her tongue. He didn't pull her closer, she didn't move any further next to him.

He pulled away and smiled. "Do you want to take this to the bedroom?" When she nodded he scooped her up and stood. Neither of them said anything as he carried her down the hall. She just laid her cheek to his chest, listening to his heartbeat. When he kicked the door open she could hear the hitch in his rhythm. Was the great Patrick Jane nervous?

"A little." He admitted as he set her down on center of the bed, crawling over her. A familiar smug smile met his face. "Unlike your Dream Land, this hasn't happened between us before as far as I know."

She groaned and her hands flew up to cover her face. "Why do I ever tell you anything?"

"Technically you didn't tell me much." He placed a kiss to her exposed throat, another a little lower. One hand held him up, almost none of his weight touched her as if he feared he'd hurt her. The other hand, with gentle finger tips, trailed up and down her side. When she arched her back he reached behind her and unhooked her bra, tossing it unceremoniously at the floor. "Do you want to? Tell me?" He leaned down, placed a kiss to the ribcage just under each breast. She gasp a little and dropped her hands, one to his neck tangling in his hair, the other to his shoulder.

"No."

He moved his mouth in feather light kisses around the curves of her breasts, but only touching the skin of her ribcage. His hot breath lapped at her and she felt impatient. He moved a little lower, touching a kiss to her navel, just above her belly button. His hands made quick work of her yoga pants, jerking them down. She lifted her hips so that he could pull them, and her panties, off. He stood as he threw them, unhooking his pants and dropping them next to her discarded clothes.

He was back on her in an instant, rolling her over onto her side, and laying against her back. She could feel the heat of his need on her thigh as he pressed against her. "This isn't how I planned on doing this. I just thought it might be easier if I'm not putting my weight on your ribs or leg. Let me know if I'm hurting you, and I'll stop. I'll wait." He threw several superficial kisses across her neck and shoulders, sweeping her hair out of the way as he did so. She didn't say anything, just kept her breathing even as she threw her leg over his to give him better access, a silent approval to him for the go ahead.

Butterflies danced along her stomach when he paused at her entrance. He kept one hand locked in her hair, the other on her hip, but he didn't move. For a moment she panicked, maybe he had changed his mind. She opened her mouth to ask, but moaned instead as he pushed into her. He pulled out so slow, pushed back in even slower. The control freak in her wanted to take over, take care of herself. She tried to push her hips back against his, but the hand he kept there held her still. He wasn't rough, so she didn't fight back. "Mm-mm, give me a minute." He whispered.

She fought every part of her brain screaming for more and nodded. He moved the hand from her hip and ran it up and down her stomach, across her breasts, traced the curve of her throat and neck before dropping back down. He moved his hand low, testing what he could get away with. He trailed at the lowest part of her stomach, ghosting his touch to her thighs and back up. He moved, but it was so maddeningly slow. When he pulled his hand back up to her hip he pushed in a little further, a little more forcefully. It was unexpected and she moaned.

He picked his pace up now, pressing his mouth against her jawline, her neck, her cheek. She turned her mouth and pressed it against his awkwardly, now meeting her hips with his thrust for thrust. She could feel the sparks and heat burst into flames in her stomach. She could feel his movements becoming erratic, his mouth more needy. His hand held her face at that awkward angle and he moaned into her mouth. She felt his stomach clench up against her back, his body tremble. After a couple seconds, they lay as if someone had pressed pause. Finally he let her face go, pushing his mouth in slow soft kisses along her neck and shoulder. He began to slowly move inside her again.

His hand slipped back down, no longer testing limits. He moved at an even pace with both his hand and hips. It didn't take her long to start feeling the growing pull. Her thighs locked up and her eyes rolled back. She moaned loud, her arm wound around his, fingernails digging into his forearm to ground herself. He placed kisses along her turned jaw and neck as she tightened around him, breathing heavily in ragged gasps.

When she fell back to earth, suddenly remembering to let her lungs lurch, that she needed oxygen, he was laying still behind her and holding her tightly against him. After a couple moments, and when her breathing returned to almost normal, he sighed against her shoulder. "I'm so glad you're back."

She chuckled and nodded, pulling his arm tighter around her. "Me, too."

They were silent for a few moments. Finally curiosity got the better of him and he pressed a kiss behind her ear. "Do I compare?"

"Mm," she shook her head. "That was...immensely better than of the other times we've..." She trailed off blushing. "Aw, crap." She whispered.

"_Times_? As in plural?" He whispered against her neck, his need becoming more prominent against their tangled legs. "How many _times_?"

She sighed, but smiled. "Give me a minute and I'll show you."


	10. Chapter 10

Hi guys! :'( I'm sad to see this story go. At the same time I'm happy to see it finished. I hope I ended it well enough. I've already revised seventeen billion endings. For me this story could have gone on forever...sigh. Anyway...THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REVIEWS, ALERTS, AND FAVORITES! That's how excited I am about them :)

Anyway...

Here is the epilogue to Dream World:

* * *

_Teresa was sleeping, curled into Jane's side contently. They had been together for some months now. She was back to work, and worn out tonight from a big bust. Comfortable though, she was comfortable in bed with a half naked Jane. She was comfortable in their recoveries, in their new life together. That's why she was surprised when she found herself dreaming of a familiar worn bench._

_She threw a handful of bread crumbs at some gathering ducks. She smiled, seeing them flutter their feathers and quack happily at the offered food. She didn't turn when she felt someone settle into the bench beside her. "Hello, Angela."_

_"Hello, Teresa."_

_They sat for a while in silence, Lisbon offering some of her breadcrumbs for Angela to throw. She placed the bag in between them and they alternated tossing it toward the gathering flock. The park was pretty full. The gravel and sand track that ran around the lake had many walkers taking lazy laps. She smiled, watching the approaching couple. Understanding suddenly why she was there._

_"Look at how happy you two are." Angela said, voice wavering. Dream Jane, and Dream Lisbon, were walking slowly, hand in hand. They laughed and kissed. She could see the engagement ring, along with a simple diamond encrusted band from where they stood. It glinted on her finger as she brought her hand up to cup his face, kiss him. A similar bracelet, one that she wore now, jingled up and down her wrist. When they pulled away she could see the way they looked at each other._

_"I see you two looking at each other like that all the time." Angela whispered._

_Lisbon felt her face flush in embarrassment._

_"No, no. I would never impose on those moments." Her voice was so low and unsteady. "It would be awwwkwaaard." She sung the last word and then chuckled a little, making Lisbon smile. "It's hard to let go of him. It's hard to see him look at you that way, knowing that it's how he used to look at me. A petty part of me, a small still-human part, is so jealous of you. The rest of me, the one that knows that I'm gone, is happy for him. I'm happy he found someone who is so willing to dig down deep and make sure that he's really and truly healing. Someone who will know when he's placing a facade or telling the truth. Someone who loves him as much as I do."_

_Lisbon placed her hand on Angela's, but didn't look at her. They watched Dream Jane and Dream Lisbon stroll past them, oblivious to their presence. Jane wrapped a tight arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead. He kept his arm around her shoulders as they walked, her arm crossed around his lower back, fingers crumpling his shirt into her fist._

_Lisbon glanced at Angela out of the corner of her eye and felt her own stability waver. A few small, silent, tears ran down her cheek. She didn't bother to wipe them away. Lisbon admired her ability to feel so comfortably set in her emotions. "I have to get going. He's moved on now. He might still have a couple of rough days ahead of him, but I have no doubt that you'll pull him through them. Even if you have to do it with him kicking and screaming like a child the entire time."_

_Lisbon nodded, patting Angela's hand. "In some sort of weird way I will miss this place. Even our encounters." She paused then amended, "especially our encounters."_

_Angela laughed roughly and wiped at her cheeks. "Yes, and so will I Agent Lisbon."_

_Lisbon removed her hand from Angela's and threw a handful of bread crumbs at the remaining ducks. "I hope you find peace and happiness."_

_"Mm, I will, and I hold the same hope for you." She stood now, running her hands over her arms. "I should get going. I too have promises to keep."_

When Teresa opened her eyes the next morning she pushed her body impossibly closer to Jane's. He was awake, but his eyes were still closed. "Morning." She murmured against his bare chest.

"Morning." He grunted back.

"I had the craziest dream." She could feel him chuckle in response.

"What about this time? Did you dream of waking?"

She shook her head against his chest and placed a kiss to the base of his throat. "Not really." She paused for a few beats, unsure of what to say and how to say it. Though they often talked, she was still hesitant to mention Angela or Charlotte to him. Only when he brought it up did she feel it was okay to ask a couple of basic questions.

"You dreamed of Angela." He murmured finally. She nodded against him again. Still unsure of what to say.

"I dreamed she and I were sitting on a bench feeding breadcrumbs to ducks and talking about you."

She could feel him chuckle against her cheek, it vibrated through his chest. "Your mind is an odd bird, an odd bird indeed."

* * *

:'( I hope you enjoyed the whole thing. I know I loved writing it. I suppose it's because I'm an odd bird so odd bird stories suit me ha ha. Thanks again to all of you who powered through this and took the time to read it. I am absolutely blown away by the amount of alerts and favorites I've recieved for both story and author. Thank you so much. I would also like to thank you for all of the beautiful reviews. :) They made me want to update even faster. Then they made me want to work even harder on my next story.


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